Memories of a Face
by mcanna
Summary: MerDer story;one car accident, two victims, four years later
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to a new Memories story. This centres around Dr Derek Shepherd. The story is losely built on a book by Danielle Steele, _The promise_. I have read many fabulos fanfiction stories and this is a new try by me to write something readable. Please comment.

~mcanna

**Chapter 1: An Accident  
**

"How much longer?" Meredith is fiddling with her wristwatch as she always does when she is nervous.

"Less than 30 minutes" Derek answers.

"Stop fiddling, they'll love you. All of them will. Remember that you are the love of my life and I will always be there for you."

He concentrates on the road. It is the third of July and people everywhere are in a rush for summer vacation. Derek is being a careful driver and has left some space to the car in front of them. Too many hours in the ER and OR trying to save head trauma victims do that to you. They are almost at his parents' summer house. It is just a left turn of the highway and a couple of blocks down to the beach. He stops and waits for an opening to cross the road. Suddenly they feel a heavy bump from behind that pushes them over into the incoming lane. The cars moving in the other direction has no chance to avoid them and Derek can't stop their car. They get hit on the passenger side of the car, by a car travelling seventy kilometers per hour. The car hitting them gets hit by the one behind him. Before it is over more than twelve cars are involved in the accident. Both Derek and Meredith are unconscious.

It takes the police and rescue teams more than ten minutes to arrive to the scene of the accident and to begin evaluating the rescue needed. The fire department is on their way with Jaws of Life to cut victims out of the remains. The first paramedics on the scene start to triage the victims. They find a suspected a lot of shocked people, small cuts and neck pains. The closer they get to the initial car crash the more severe the accidents they find. They make call to call in choppers, doctors and more ambulances, at least forty people are in need of hospital care.

"Over here" Derek hears when he regains consciousness again. His neck hurt. He has trouble breathing because of chest pain. His collarbone is probably broken since he can't move his arm and his legs are stuck. Paramedic tries to take his vitals.

"I need the jaws, these two are in need to get out now"

The paramedic moves around the car and Derek follows his movement around the front of the car. When he looks to his right he sees Meredith slumped in the seat. Her face is covered in blood and her car door is pushing her back into the seat, holding her there. She has trouble breathing. It sounds like her lungs are filling up with fluids.

"Help her" Derek cries out.

More rescue people arrive, a doctor, a couple of fire fighters and another paramedic. They all work fast to free Meredith. They begin with cutting out Derek who is crying and doesn't want to leave her. Right before they lift him out, he gets hold of her hand and squeezes it hard.

"I love you Meredith. We will do this together."

The paramedics have trouble securing Meredith's breathing but it is impossible to intubate her. They need to trac her. She is sitting there for closer to an hour before they can get her out and into a chopper that fly her to Boston General.

Dr Ellis Grey is not happy to get paged during surgery.

"It is the ER, Dr Grey" a nurse is checking her pager.

"Call them"

"Dr Grey, it is your daughter"

Ellis looks up from the patient on the table in front of her.

"Meredith? ... Why?"

"It is a 911"

"Tell them I will be there as soon as I finished this. I will probably be there within the hour."

Ellis is met outside the OR by Head of Trauma, her co-worker, Dr Harry Larsen.

"Ellis, your daughter has been in a car crash. She has severe head trauma and facial damages. They airvac her here and she is now in the ICU under observation."

Ellis looks at him in shock, turns around and jogs towards the ICU. At the door to Meredith's room she stops and looks at the heavy bandaged person in the bed. She looks like a child, it is impossible to recognize her. Her head is covered with bandages and she is connected to monitors with cords sticking out from all over her body. Ellis moves slowly to her side, sits down and takes her hand. She sits there looking at her daughter thinking… Doctors and nurses arrive to check on her every ten minutes. After about one hour, Ellis stands up, leans over the bed and whispers to Meredith.

"This is how it goes when you get involved with boys. I will take care of this."

She leaves the room and goes to the chief with instructions of Meredith's future treatments. A couple of minutes later the alarm in Meredith's room goes off and the crash team comes running.

* * *

Derek makes his mother call Dr Grey to find out where Meredith is and about her injuries the following day. He has been brought to a small hospital close to his parents' house. When Carolyn Shepherd returns her eyes are red. It is easy to see that she has been crying.

"Mum" Derek reaches out for her hand with his non injured arm.

"Mum… no Mum" Derek's tears starts falling when his mother slowly shakes her head.

"Oh Derek… my boy… I'm so sorry… so… so… sorry."

Derek is crying so hard that his ribcage is hurting him. He cries out in agony and the nurses come running. They need to sedate him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself anymore. His broken rib can puncture his lung. The next time he wakes up and remembers he feels like someone has ripped his heart out. The love of his life is dead and he wasn't with her. He wishes it was he who died. His only escape at the hospital is sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Two months later_

Mark Sloan has come to visit his best friend and to try to convince him to go back to work.

"Derek, you can't do this to yourself."

He picked up a beer can that he accidently kicked on the floor. Derek just sat there giving no response what so ever so Mark tried again.

"Derek, listen up mate."

"No, you listen up… mate. Meredith is dead and her fucking mother didn't even let me attend her funeral."

"Meredith wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

Derek grabs the almost empty bottle of scotch from the table and pours himself a full glass. Why wouldn't everyone leave him alone?

"Derek your injuries are healed. You need to get back to work. Start doing the things that you and Meredith loved to do."

Mark takes a look around Derek's apartment. There are beer cans, pizza boxes, Chinese takeout containers and lots of whiskey bottles littering the living room floor. Derek hasn't shaved in weeks and probably not showered either. It is time for an intervention. Marks pulls out his cell and dials a number. When he hangs up he has organized for a cleaning service to come along with Derek's sister Kathleen. Derek has been sitting staring at the wall not making more movement then lifting his glass to his lips.

"Derek, get your ass out of the chair."

Mark pulls him up and out to the front door.

"Shoes on" he says and helps him get his sneakers on.

"Where are we going?" Derek tries to return to the living room but Mark grabs a gym bag and drags him out the door. The gym is located two blocks away and he forces him to walk there. Well inside he puts Derek on a bike and says

"Eight kilometers, do it, get those legs moving."

After two hours of yelling, swearing and crying they have together accomplished a good work out. Derek feels like dying but Mark orders him into the showers and doesn't let him out until he has shaved. Some clean sweaters and a tee shirt make it possible to go to a coffee and diner next door. Mark orders salad and soup along with large bottles of water. Before they start he hands Derek a couple of painkillers. Next stop is the barber where they both get groomed.

Four hours later they arrive to a clean apartment with newly stocked groceries in the fridge and pantry. Kathleen is waiting for them.

"Hi guys, mum sends her love and expects to see you on Friday evening for dinner. Bye guys."

Kathleen leaves after giving Derek a peck on his cheek and Mark a big hug.

"Bye Kath"

Mark answers while Derek returns to the bedroom. There is fresh bed linen and it smells clean, to clean. He finds Meredith's Dartmouth tee shirt folded on the dresser along with some of his clothes. It smells detergent. In the shower he finds something that is Meredith's, her hair conditioner smells lavender. He brings the bottle with him to bed, puts a drop on her pillow and inhales her sweet smell. He is laying there hugging her pillow staring at her picture on the nightstand when Mark enters the room.

"Derek, where is Meredith's grave?"

"She doesn't have one. Her mother cremated her."

"Derek, your pain won't disappear, it will just hurt less. She will always be your love but you have to continue living for her and you. Do the things she would have done. Go back to work and do the research and test trial you were planning with her. Make it a success in memory of her."

"When Mark, will you leave New York and get your ass back to Los Angeles. When will I get my real friend back, the cocky plastic surgeon with a god complex and not this over caring pain in the ass? Leave me alone."

"Can't do that, since you are, like, my brother. I will stay until you are back at work and function again.

The next morning Mark drags Derek to work. It is awful to walk through the doors that the last time he did it he walked with Meredith. Mark was by his side all the way to the attending locker room in the neurology department. All his coworkers stayed out of his way, thanks to Mark's evil stare at them. In Derek's locker there are lots of notes of condolences for his loss. It makes him cry again. There is a knock on the door and a resident comes in carrying a box.

"Dr Shepherd" she says and gets quiet waiting for a response that doesn't come.

"We had to clean out Mer's locker and we thought that you might want the stuff that was in it."

Derek takes the box and the resident leaves him and Mark alone. He looks into the box and here he finally finds his Meredith. Her scrubs and tee shirt, her lab coat with her name on it, her stethoscope, her penlight, a bottle of soap, shampoo and conditioner and pictures of him and pictures of the two of them. In the bottom he finds small notes he had written to her that makes him smile at the same time as his tears fall.

"Look how beautiful she is!"

"Yes, she was."

He also finds a wrapped gift box and an attached card. 'Happy Birthday Der, Love Mer.' Derek is afraid to touch it. His birthday was spent grieving, drinking and avoiding.

"Open it Derek" Mark says.

"I don't know if I can."

"Sure you can."

Derek takes his time and slowly opens the lid. Inside is a silver pen light with his name engraved. There is a card 'To the light in my life.' Mark holds Derek up as he breaks down once more.

"Mark, I can't be here. I can't work here."

Mark picks up his phone again and makes a new phone call. He packs Derek and Meredith's stuff and follows Derek to the Chief of Surgery as Derek hands in his resignation.

"Why?" the Chief asks.

"I can't work here with all the memories of Meredith, Sir. I need a fresh start."

"Where are you going?"

"Seattle Grace Hospital has offered me attending with the option to become Head of Neuro in two years."

"Will you continue the research you and Grey worked on?"

"Yes, I will, in honor of her memory."

"Good luck Derek, you and Meredith will both be missed."


	3. Chapter 3

**I have no medical training and all medical stuff is made up by me. Please enjoy**

**Chapter 3**

_Four years later_

Dr Derek Shepherd is coming back from an orgasmic high to the sound of a pager.

"Who's is it?"

His girlfriend is still in a haze as he reaches for the pager on the table.

"Mine… 911"

"Don't you have a fellow that can take it? I want a retake."

"I have to go, see you later at the apartment."

* * *

Lisa Grayson is standing outside Seattle Grace Hospital and she is nervous. This is the place that is going to change her life. She is starting as a fellow in neurology. In a year she will be an attending. This coming year she will do solo surgeries from beginning to end and doing her own consultations, just being overlooked by the Head of Neurology, Dr Derek Shepherd. He was the upcoming star in neurosurgery. As a new attending here he developed a new way to treat non operable tumors and named it The Grey-Shepherd Method after him and his girlfriend. The revolving door at the entrance catches her eye and a sudden rain shower makes her dash into the large lobby.

Lisa feels a little bit like she has been at this hospital before as she finds her way to the elevators and takes the car up to the surgical floor. She is just to meet the Chief of Surgery and sign some papers before starting her new job in the morning. At the surgical floor she sees a lot of people as she pushes her way out of the lift. The attendings seem to be wearing dark blue scrubs and the residents and interns light blue. It is a nice change from the green colors she has been wearing the last couple of years. After a quick look around she walks towards the Chiefs office.

* * *

Derek steps into the lift going for the ER. The pager goes off again and he can see that ETA is three minutes on a suspicious head trauma. He leans back towards the railing, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and relaxes. There is a hint of lavender in the air.

"Welcome to the surgical department of Seattle Grace Hospital, Dr Grayson."

Dr Webber is shaking Lisa's hand after she has signed her contract. He hands her an envelope containing her pager, badge and copies of her contract. Her new lab coat is folded in her lap.

"Thank you, for having me Dr Webber."

"I hope you will tell me if there is anything I can do to make your transition easier. I will page a couple of the other fellows for you and they can show you around the floor."

He follows her out where he introduces her to the head nurse and two doctors, Drs Yang and Grey."

"Hi, I'm Lexie and this is Cristina"

Dr Webber looks after her when she walks away side by side with the two doctors. She reminds him of someone.

* * *

Later in the evening Lisa is stepping in to the gathering of the new interns, fellows and attending. The mixer is boring and Lisa walks around observing people. The interns are nervous but tries to act as sophisticated, the first year residents tries to look as they belong but are as nervous as the interns, the fellows tries to look as attendings and attendings look like they would rather be home.

Mark and Derek is sitting by the bar observing the crowd.

"Look at the hot girl over there"

Mark has his eyes trained on a petit blond woman dressed in a black dress. Derek is texting on his phone and doesn't look up.

"I think I should get to know her"

"What, who?"

Derek looks up from his phone.

"The girl over…"

Mark looks back towards the last place he saw her but she is not there anymore. Derek's phone goes off again and he reads the incoming message with a smile.

"I have to go, my sex goddess is waiting in bed."

* * *

Lisa has left the mixer after having a brief chat with Cristina and Lexie. They introduced their friends Izzie, Alex, George and Owen to her. They all seemed nice and it felt good to know some people in Seattle. They were all doctors and she would see them a lot when she began work the next day. She walked across the parking lot towards her rented car. It was only a short drive back to her hotel but the weather was unstable and she didn't want to risk being wet before the mixer so she took her car. When she pulled her keys out of her purse she is hit in the back of her head. She is already unconscious when her right temple hits the curb. Her keys are removed from her hand and the car speeds away from the parking lot.

Derek is in a hurry, his girlfriend since five month is waiting at home. He had gotten a picture of her naked in bed along with the words – Hurry home – and he intended to be there. His car is across the lot and he jogs towards it when has to jump back due to a car speeding out on the road. Beside the newly vacated parking space he sees something light in the shadow. Getting closer he can see a woman unconscious on the ground with her head in a pool of blood. Every thought of sex vacates his mind as he turns into doctor mood. He presses speed dial 2 on his phone and while waiting for Mark to pick up he begins to assess her injuries.

"Mark, I need you outside now"

"Need help with the sex goddess?"

"No, grab Owen and send some residents to get me a gurney. Here is a woman bleeding from a head wound."

Derek flips the phone shut and carefully tries to triage her. The woman has dirty blond hair that smells of… lavender. She is the same size as Meredith but when he carefully turns her over he is soon to see that she doesn't look his dead girlfriend. Mark and Owen are heard as they come running and the fabulous five are not too far behind. O'Malley is assisting Owen as Derek takes a step back. He has a strange feeling about this patient. Dr Stevens along with Karev are seen running towards the ER and Yang is on the phone with the police. When Derek looks for his friend he can see Mark with Grey wrapped into his arms. She is crying. He wonder why, the patient is just… a patient.


	4. Chapter 4

I have no medical training and everything is just made up to suit this story.

A huge thank you to my commenters, you make it fun to write and publish. I do this for you.

~mcanna

**

* * *

Chapter 4**

Dr Alex Karev comes running towards the group of people along with an orderly and a gurney.

"Izzie is preparing a room. How is Lisa?"

"She is unconscious and she is bleeding from her right temple. Let's get her inside"

As they are lifting her onto the stretcher the police arrive at the scene. Yang and Karev stay as the others follows the gurney into the ER.

"I hope you are sober Shep, this seems to be something for you to work on."

Owen is looking at his friend as they both scrub in and put their protective gear on.

"I will only assess her and then one of my attending can take it from there."

"Do you know the patient?"

"No"

"It is Dr Grayson, Dr Lisa Grayson, your new fellow in neuro."

"How do you know that?"

"Cristina introduced her less than an hour ago. She and Lexie met her earlier today."

"Oh, but I still don't know why I have to do this surgery. Nelson will manage just fine."

"Okay, I'll have him paged."

The two doctors walk into the room as the residents are pushing back the X-ray machine.

"What do we have? Can someone page Dr Nelson?"

Owen and Derek are looking at the first images. Derek can see that there is a large bleed but also that her temple is not broken in a normal way. She has something there. He turns and lets his fingertips carefully trace the injury and then he can feel it. It is a plate.

"Send her to CT, now"

"MRI is ready, sir. The trauma nurse is holding a phone waiting for his response."

"No, she needs CT. She has a plate in her skull. The MRI might make it move."

"She has a plate in her temple?"

Owen is staring at the images but the angle is not good for identification.

"Yeah, you can only see it as a strange dislocation."

O'Malley follows the gurney to be on standby if her stats changes during the CT. Derek moves back to Owen and points at the slight dislocation that can be seen on the image. He also points at a larger dark area.

"She has a bleed here. It is larger than it should be though. I'll be in the scan room waiting for her pictures, just going to grab a coffee and a sandwich."

On his way out he meets Dr Nelson and updates him on the patient but he believes now that he will do the surgery and not his shadow. Outside the scan room he finds Mark and Lexie and updates them.

"I'm going to need you Mark if it is what I suspect. You are better forming plates than I am."

In the scan room he is met by the tech and O'Malley.

"Is she OK"

"Yeah, so far so good. The pictures are coming any second now."

The three of them look at the picture for a moment and then O'Malley grabs the phone.

"I'll book you an OR and have it set up for craniotomy."

"Thank you"

George makes the reservations and walks off to get her out of the CT. Derek is studying the pictures from all possible angles and the tech gives him a couple more from another view.

"This girl has had some serious head trauma already."

"Mhmm… Mark can you get in here"

Derek calls to Mark who is talking to an officer just outside the door.

"How is she?"

Mark sticks his head inside the room.

"She is in a bit of trouble. She has had major trauma before this done to her head. Look at these pictures."

Mark disappears for a minute and Derek can hear him giving an update to the officer before bidding him good bye.

"What can I do?"

"We will have to do this together, there is a lot of scaring to consider. Do you think Grey can get a hold of her medical record?"

"Sure I'll put her on it. Come on, let's get changed and meet in the scrub room."

The two doctors leave for their offices and Derek sends a quick text to his girlfriend to tell her that he won't be home.

* * *

It is close to midnight. Derek is studying the scans again and can see where she has been hit in the neck, blunt force trauma. It had bleed a lot but stopped. She needed to get the cranium lifted a little bit to reduce the pressure. In her right temple he can see a new bleed and what looks like a clot. It will be a long surgery. His phone rings, it is sex goddess wondering if he is coming home. They decide to meet in an on-call room for lunch. He meets Mark in the scrub room.

"Lexie can't get access to her file. Who is next of kin?"

"We don't know. The HR doesn't have any information."

The door opens and Lexie enters.

"Did you find anything Dr Grey?"

"No, Dr Shepherd, not a single thing. The HR has nothing. I even did an internet search and came up with nothing.

The two surgeons scrub in and prepare the OR together with the nurses and a resident each. Derek's resident is shaving the blood stained hair off as Mark is taking a closer look at her face and finds lots of scaring in her hairline, under her chin and around her ears.

"This girl has had a complete face lift or something done by the very best. I wouldn't mind to assist that surgeon and learn more. Not even I can make something this good."

They OR staff snickers at his remark but everyone steps up to the table to see. Mark points out the tiny scaring for everyone to see. Derek takes his place beside the table and says.

"It's a beautiful night to save life, let's have some fun"

"It's a beautiful night to make someone pretty."

Mark adds his line as well before taking the scalpel and carefully opens her temple and takes out the titanium plate. He has to use a screwdriver to release some parts, those not pushed into the lobe making it bleed. Derek is there and stops the pre existing bleed before moving to release pressure in her neck. As soon as that is done he begins assessing her temple. There is a large clot and he is surprised that she hasn't been on any painkillers. Her labs came back clean.

"This clot must have been killing her, why isn't she on any painmeds?"

"She is a doctor, might know too much about the side effects."

"Still, if she hasn't any headache she ought to have some kind of side effect and it can't be motorskill since she is a neurosurgeon."

The four doctors and the nurses keep up their small talk as Mark works on fitting a new titanium plate over the hole in her skull and Derek and his resident removes the clot. Suddenly a loud sound is heard and all of the staff looks up to the gallery.

"Dr Webber, what are you doing here at this ungodly hour?"

"Doctors, I got briefed by the HR that you want access to Dr Grayson's file. Is that correct?"

"Yes, we need to find her next of kin and we also want to see her medical records."

"Why?"

"Because it would make the surgery safer."

"What surgery?"

"This surgery."

"This?"

"Yeah, didn't you look at the OR board? This patient is Dr Grayson."

"What… you mean my new fellow is the patient on your table?"

"Yes and she has had major surgeries before and it would make it easier if we knew more. Can you help us?"

"I'll do my best… keep up your good work… I'll be back."

Mark and Derek looked at each other and continued their work. About fifteen minutes later Dr Grey enters the OR with a mask carrying a thin file.

"This is what we have this far. Dr Elisabeth Grayson, 28 years old, transferred from Los Angles two days ago after finishing her residency at LA Trauma Centre. She is staying at the Edge. No next of kin, we have a phone number but it must be old since it is the same one we have to our house, the resident residency. I have not been able to find anything about her med school but she told me she went to Dartmouth when we spoke earlier today. The police know nothing. The rental agency is tracking the car and it is moving north towards Canada. They hope the police will stop them before crossing the border."

"So, new in town, mugged on her car, no next of kin… welcome to the city"

Lexie left the OR with a promise to search some more. She felt a connection to Lisa and wanted to be there for her. Derek finishes his part and steps back, rolling his shoulder to release some tension. Mark steps up with the finished plate and begins attaching it with some screws and pulling back the loose skin flap.

"I'll do my very best Lisa to make you pretty again he says before beginning to stitch her up."

Derek has been looking at her and can't really understand what he feels. She looks a lot like Meredith and he wants to protect her. After scrubbing out he walks to the post-op area and checks on her. It is close to ten in the morning and he grabs a coffee and her chart sitting by her bed writing his notes. It doesn't feel good leaving her alone with no next of kin waiting. If it was him he would have had all of his family in the waiting room harassing the surgeons and every other staff member they could get their hands on, just like when he and Meredith was in their fatal accident. He soon falls into a light slumber holding her tiny hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoy...**

**Chapter 5**

Derek is dreaming about Meredith. He is walking in a corridor in an empty hospital. Everywhere he looks, it is empty. He knows that he must find her soon … before it is too late. The corridor gets longer by each step he takes. He starts running but it doesn't help… the only door with light coming out from it is even further away and now he can see the light fading out. Suddenly he can smell lavender. He is standing in the elevator and there is a distinct trace of lavender. He turns his head and kisses her.

"Mhmm Meredith"

He moans into the soft lips caressing his. A smack on his cheek startles him awake. He is staring into the light blue eyes of his very annoyed girlfriend. Her red hair is coiffed perfectly around her head and he can smell her over whelming perfume, not lavender.

"Derek, wake up. You are dreaming about dead people."

"I… what… sorry"

He looks around the room and can see Dr Grayson still out from the anesthetic at the surgery. The dream had been so real. He still missed Meredith every single day but knew he had to move on.

"Why are you sitting here, holding her hand?"

He looked at the tiny hand still in a firm grasp in his larger one.

"She doesn't have anyone. I couldn't leave her here alone."

"Who is she?"

"She is Dr Elizabeth Grayson, my new fellow in neuro. She is supposed to begin work today but got mugged yesterday after the mixer."

"Come on, I missed you last night. We have time for a quick one in the on-call room."

Derek does a quick check on Lisa and asks the nurse to page Grey or Yang, before following his girlfriend towards the on-call room. The dream is still up front in his mind but he knows that Addison won't let go or he will have to oblige to one of her shopping sprees with his credit card to make up for not joining her. Somehow he wishes for the pager to go off and save him.

Cristina passes the on-call room closest to the ICU on her way to answer the page. From the room she can hear a high pitched voice and a lower grunt.

"Hi, you paged?"

Cristina looks at the nurse behind the desk and turns her head when she hears a long howl.

"Sorry, they just went in there and they are already finished"

The nurse giggled a little before focusing on Cristina.

"Dr Shepherd wants you to sit with Dr Grayson for a while. He will be back as soon as possible."

"Yeah, sure. It sounds like he is already done."

Cristina glares at the closed door and sighs when she hears them begin a new round.

"What on earth does he see in that woman?"

She mutters on her way to Lisa's bed. She has a medical magazine in her pocket and prepares to read for a while. After a short time she can see that Lisa is waking up but she is not responding to stimuli just yet. It seems like a nightmare is riding her but Cristina can't give her anything until she has woken up from surgery. Instead she begins to read aloud from the magazine.

"Oh, here it something that you might like, When will the Grey-Shepherd Method go from trial to approved method?"

Cristina begins reading a quick review and Lisa is calming down. After about an hour she is finally waking up and fighting her intubation. The nurse pages Dr Shepherd that comes running from the on-call room with an almost thankful expression on his face.

"Dr Grayson is waking up, Dr Shepherd."

The nurse is trying to flirt with the handsome doctor but he doesn't even see her as he already is moving towards the bed. He is doing a neuro check and waiting for response from Lisa before he and Yang can pull the tube out.

"Lisa, can you hear me? Open your eyes, Lisa. You have had surgery and we need to see you awake before we can pull the tube."

Cristina is trying to coax her out of the anesthetic.

Lisa is opening her eyes and Derek and Cristina can see how confused she is.

"Lisa, blink twice if you understand me."

First she just closes her eyes and Derek and Cristina looks at each other but as Lisa's hand moves they look back at her and now she opens her eyes again and slowly blinks twice.

"We will pull the tube, do you understand Lisa"

She blinks twice again and both Cristina and Derek let out their breath that they've been holding. Derek pulls the tube, her eyes so familiar to him that he has trouble taking his eyes off her.

"Mother?"

"Sorry Lisa, your mother is not here."

"Oh"

"Do you want an ice-chip?"

Lisa tries to nod but the pain in her head is too severe. Derek can see how Lisa turns into herself before closing her eyes, a small tears sliding down her cheek.

"Derek, why didn't you come back?"

* * *

Addison shows up at the door with a seductive smile on her lips. Derek looks at her before looking back to Lisa. He feels like something is wrong but he can't understand it.

"Sorry honey, but I had to do this."

"Can't Dr… Yang take it from here?"

"Dr Yang is a cardio thoracic surgeon and is not qualified to treat my neuro patients."

"Let Shadow do it then… I need you."

"You better not let her down Shep"

Cristina smirked as she saw Derek's face.

"I need to check on Dr Grayson, Addison. I will meet you at home."

Addison left after a quick peck on his cheek and a whisper.

"You owe me a shopping day for this."

"Ok"

Derek was almost looking forward to that. Just at this moment he preferred to have it in the future instead of performing again in the on-call room. He remembered when he met Addison and couldn't have enough of her. Now he felt trapped. He shakes his head and turns back to the bed. Dr Grayson needs some painkillers and he orders a morphine drip. Cristina got a page and soon he got one as well. The nurse on the floor promised to stay close by Dr Grayson so she wasn't alone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for comments, they are the only way I can actually see that people read the story. It is something wrong with the story stats.**

**This chapter might be difficult to digest so please don't eat while reading :giggle: but please trust me.**

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**Chapter 6**

The next time Lisa wakes up it is dark in the room. A body is sitting on the chair bedside the bed.

"Mother"

The person looks up and moves up to the head of the bed.

"Sorry Lisa, it is just me, Lexie. Do you remember me?"

"No, sorry"

"It's OK, we just met shortly yesterday."

"What happened?"

"Someone stole your car."

"My car?"

"Yeah, after the mixer."

"After what?"

"Lisa… what is the last thing you remember?"

"Pain"

"Are you in pain?"

"Mhmm"

"Just let me check your chart and I'll see if I can give you something."

"Not now"

"But you are in pain."

"Not now… please… tell me what happened"

"Someone stole your car."

"Not an accident?"

"No"

"But mother… said accident."

"Your mother is not here Lisa. Do you have a phone number to her? I can call."

Lisa is falling back to sleep. Lexie is a bit worried since Lisa seemed altered. What was she talking about… accident… mother… it didn't make sense. She took the chart and made a note before whispering good night and leaving for home.

* * *

Derek entered Addison's apartment. He really wanted to go to his trailer but realized that Addison would be pissed if he didn't show up. The apartment was dark and he hoped that she was already asleep. When he tiptoed into the master bedroom he saw that the bed was empty. A soft light came from the bathroom and he slowly pushed the door opened. Addison sat in a tub surrounded by candles and bubbles. Her hair pinned on top of her head. She slowly raised a smooth slender leg from the bubbles as greeting when he entered.

"I was waiting for my master"

Her voice low and sexy.

"Sorry I am late, Addie. I got an emergency when I was to leave."

"You should open a private practice."

"I like working in the hospital Addison."

"But you would earn so much more and get decent hours if you had a practice."

"I like teaching and researching."

"I think we should move to LA and join my friends Sam and Naomi at their practice or we could move to NY and you could get closer to your family. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"I like it here, Addison"

Derek has dropped his clothes during the talk and slides down into the still warm water. He grabs her leg as to distract her and starts nibbling on her calf. Soon it is only moaning and sloshes of water heard from the bathroom.

* * *

Lisa is waking again and she is a little agitated.

"Can you call my mother"

"I'm sorry Dr Grayson, but I don't have her number."

"It's in my phone!"

The nurse reaches for the drawer that contains the personal belongings.

"Don't dig in my belongings nurse."

"Sorry, but you wanted your phone."

"No, not anymore. Just tell me when I can get out of here."

"You have to wait for Dr Shepherd to have him tell you when."

"Where is this illustrious doctor?"

"Probably in surgery."

"Get me another one then. I want out of here."

She tries to sit up but her head is killing her.

"Do you need more painkillers?"

"No, just get me out of here. I'm used to headaches."

"Doctor Shepherd wanted to know where you had your last surgery."

Lisa looks at the nurse with a confused look.

"Last surgery, what do you mean?"

"You have experienced head trauma before. He saw it on you CT and he would like to talk to your doctor. What's your doctor's name?"

Lisa still looks confused. Suddenly a muffled moan is heard into the room. The nurse seemed unfazed by it but Lisa turned a little too fast making her head hurt.

"Ouch"

"Are you sure you don't need any thing for the pain?"

The nurse is looking at Lisa with a concerned look. Lisa's skin has a light coating of sweat and her eyes are closed. She pages Dr Shepherd for a consult since he should be done in the on-call room by now.

* * *

Derek is dressing when he is paged to the ICU.

"I need to take this Addie."

"Mhmm…!

His girlfriend is almost asleep after their little quickie. He gives a peck on her cheek before jogging towards the nurse's desk. The nurse informs him about Dr Grayson's stats and he makes a neuro check before sending her for a new CT.

Out in the hallway he runs into Mark and they make company to the coffee cart.

"All done with the sex goddess?"

"Shut up, Mark."

"What, I'm just happy that you are moving on and getting laid ever so often."

Derek's pager goes off as soon he is back on the surgical floor. It is the resident he sent to do Dr Grayson CT. After a look at the pictures and hearing Lisa swear at the tech and resident pulling her out of the machine, he walks up to her bed.

"Lisa"

He reaches for her hand and strokes it gently.

"What? Get me out of this hospital. I hate hospitals."

"Good thing you become a doctor then, if you hate the hospital."

Derek chuckles and feels like a horse has kicked him in his guts when he sees the annoyed look in Lisa's green eyes. It is the same look Meredith would get when she was agitated. He shakes the thoughts out of his head and focuses on Lisa again.

"Lisa, you have a small bleed going on in your head. It is in the area where I took out a huge clot. I believe it will resolve itself but we are going to keep it under observation until it has."

"I want to go home… now."

"I can't have you do that… but I can transfer you to a better room."

"I want to be in my old room."

"Your old room?"

"Yeah, number 1818"

"Sorry, we don't have that many floors."

"What, has the hospital shrunk while I slept? Where is that plastic man-whore by the way?"

"Who, Dr Sloan, do you know Dr Sloan?"

"No… Dr Carson of course."

Derek looks at her closely and can see that she is not all alert."

"Lisa, where are we?"

"Why… LA?"

"No, Lisa, you are not in LA. You are in Seattle. Do you remember moving here?"

"… No…"

"Lisa, you just moved here to start your fellowship… do you remember?"

"No"

Lisa closes her eyes and again he can see a lonely tear trickle down her cheek. He follows her back into her new room and asks the resident to keep her under close observation. After a quick check of time he leaves for surgery.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Derek pulled his ferryboat cap off, the cap that Meredith had given him when he began his fellowship. The cap along with his penlight was his most valued possessions. At the nurses' station he handed in the signed notes from his surgery as he felt a person next to him.

"Dr Shepherd"

"Yes Dr… Grey?"

He still had trouble using Lexie's surname as he wanted Dr Grey to be Meredith and not her half-sister. When he moved to Seattle she began as an intern and he asked about the name after spending a long surgery together. They were somewhat friends but she and her other friends didn't like his girlfriend and Addie sure didn't like them. He still managed to get together with them and Mark at Joe's from time to time. Usually they met for a drink when Addie worked late.

"I wonder… how is Dr Grayson doing?"

"She is agitated and confused as of this morning. I am to get an update before going home."

"Do you think she will be released anytime soon?"

"In a couple of days if the bleed resolves itself and she remembers where she is."

"Do you think she would like to stay at the resident residency during recovery? Should I ask?"

"Yeah, do that if you want. She probably needs some help for a couple of days at least."

"She could have the master bedroom as it is empty."

"Sure… can you have an intern help me with some research though?"

"Yeah, sure, about what?"

"I want to get in contact with a Dr Carson in LA. He is in plastics."

"Do I hear my old teacher's name?"

Mark is walking up to the desk after finishing as surgery of his.

"Teacher?"

"Yeah, I worked with Dr Carson in LA. He is a genius."

Derek recalled what Mark said during surgery about the scaring in Dr Grayson's face.

"You said that in the OR."

"I did?"

Mark looked at Derek with a confused expression.

"Yeah, at Dr Grayson's surgery. You admired the stitching and wanted to assist the doctor doing that."

"Carson did that? When?"

"I don't know but she spoke about Dr Carson and LA."

"I have to speak with her."

"She is confused and my guess is that you won't get much out of her. Can you instead check when she had surgery and speak to Dr Carson?"

"Sure thing, I'll call him and get back to you. Do you have time for Joe's tonight or is the sex goddess occupying you?"

"No, she is on-call and I'm going to the trailer."

"Don't look so happy!"

"I need to think Mark but I'll meet you at Joe's for a drink before I get home."

"Great, see you and you… Dr Grey"

Mark sent Lexie a wink before leaving for his office.

"I'm off and I'll sit with Lisa for a while."

Lexie left towards Lisa's room in the neuro wing. Derek looked after her feeling that he should make her company but his pager reminded him about a conference scheduled with the board and public relations about his trial.

* * *

Joe walked up to Derek with a glass of scotch and handed it to him.

"Nice to see you here Doc. Long time, no see."

"Sorry, Addie has kept me occupied."

"Yeah, your friends told me that. Why don't you bring her here?"

"I'm sorry Joe, but this isn't really her kind of place."

"So, where are you two going then? The Space Needle?"

"Mhmm"

Derek was sipping his drink and could feel the warmth spreading inside of him. Joe's was the place where Meredith would have had shot after shot of tequila if she was here. She would have hated the snobby bars and restaurants Addie made him visit. He felt a slap on his back and turned to see Mark along with the fabulous five.

"You made it."

"Yeah"

"I saw you with the publicity woman. What's up?"

"The board wants to publish the trial again as PR for the hospital."

"Ok, golden boy to rescue."

"Shut up"

Derek looked embarrassed at his friends.

"What's up?"

"Nothing new."

Derek watch as Owen entered the bar and sneaked up to kiss… Cristina. He wondered when that happened. The rest of his friends didn't even blink so he realized that it was old news. He really has been out of the loop for too long. He sat down just observing his friends. Mark and Lexie left to play darts. When Mark wrapped his left arm around Lexie's waist and with his right hand grabbed her to help her and she giggled, Derek felt lonely. That would never be him and Addie. He finished his drink and bid his happy friends good night.

_She was sitting in the conference room drawing a picture her mother wouldn't put in her office. She knew that the picture would end in the basket behind the nurses' desk as they walked off the surgical floor. She had seen it a couple nights ago when her mother was paged on their way home and she had to wait with the nurses. Her picture had been in the waste just covered with a peel of a banana she had seen one of the nurses finish as got there. She looked out the large window and could see how her mother was talking to Dr…_

"Dr Webber, over here"'

She woke startled and realized that she was in her room and hospital staff was yelling in the corridor.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Lexie was searching for Derek and got to him just before he opened the on-call room. She could just imagine who was waiting inside but she didn't feel any remorse for hindering him. She truly didn't like Addison, the gold-digging whore. She didn't understand what he saw in her other than sex and with his looks it couldn't be that hard to get a girl.

"Dr Shepherd… do you have time? I want to talk to you about Dr Grayson."

"Just a moment"

Derek entered the on-call room to tell Addie that he didn't have time. He really didn't feel up to it anyhow. She got mad as usually but he just left with a promise to see her later.

"Yes Dr Grey?"

"Can we please do this in your office?"

"OK"

He looked curious at her but grabbed Dr Grayson's chart from the nurses' desk as he passed walking towards his office. Lexie grabbed the visiting chair and he sat down behind the desk.

"So…"

"You know that I'm not neuro but ENT and I only have elementary knowledge in your field?"

"Mhmm"

"What have your residents told you about Lisa?"

"Nothing more than that her bleed is resolving itself and she doesn't want painkillers."

He is flipping through the notes in the file as he speaks.

"You know I went to sit with her yesterday before Joe's?"

"Mhmm"

"… and she was awake and we talked a little. She is really nice by the way… but…"

"but what?"

"She seems to have amnesia."

"How… what makes you say that?"

"We spoke about the robbery… the police have got the driver and he will be charged by the way… and she remembers that and that she moved here from LA… but… she has no recollection of before LA… she says she studied at Dartmouth but can remember where she did her intern year. She seems to have no family and she says she was in a motorcycle accident four years ago but she doesn't remember more than waking up after surgery and spending time at the hospital before entering their resident program as a third year student… it just doesn't feel right."

"I'll have a check. I haven't heard anything from Dr Webber either… hmm… I'll talk to Dr Sloan and Webber and then I'll check her out. The clot I removed could cause amnesia. It is in the correct area… if so she might need Dr Wyatt to help her when her memory returns."

He scribbled down some notes in the chart before closing it and looking at Lexie.

"Will she stay with you guys at the residency?"

"Yes, she seemed to like the idée. Alex and George are Ok with it and Izzy is over the moon and back."

Lexie giggled at the thought of her friends. Derek felt a little uncomfortable since her giggle was almost the same as Meredith had.

Derek checked the OR board and saw that Mark was out. He found him flirting with a new nurse at the desk.

"Hey, did you get a hold of your old teacher?"

"Yeah, I was on my way to talk to you."

"Yeah, sure you were. I'm as hot and sexy as a nurse."

The two of them turned to leave when Dr Webber stopped them.

"Can I have a talk with the two of you in my office?"

"Sure"

They looked at each other and felt like when they were called to the principal's office in high school.

"What did we do?"

* * *

"Derek, Mark how is Dr Grayson doing?"

"She is better, she had a small bleed but it is resolving itself. Short term amnesia has been present but she is now remembering what happened. I got some disturbing indications from Dr Grey that sat with her yesterday afternoon that she has long term amnesia but it is not confirmed yet."

"The scarring is minimal and the stitches will be out later this week."

"That is good news. I have tried to get a hold of her medical records but they are sealed."

"Yes, I know. I talked to Dr Carson earlier today and he didn't say squat."

"Yeah, and they are sealed very well. Only a court can open them."

"Why?"

Both Mark and Derek looked stunned at the revelation.

"I would tell if I could. I did get a standing ovation of Dr Grayson's medical skills though. The Chief was more than sorry to lose her."

"Why did she leave?"

"Personal reasons"

"Did he tell when her surgery was done?"

"Only that it was about four years ago."

"Dr Carson had a VIP just before I left for NY and to get your sorry ass out of your apartment. I was never in on the patient. It was only a handful of nurses and Carson's favorite resident working on her."

"I thought you were his favorite resident?"

"I was his best but since I don't swing that way he had another favorite."

The three doctors sat quiet for a while pondering the case.

"What happens now? When will she be released? When can she begin work?"

"I will give her an exam today after my afternoon surgery and see if everything is Ok. I'll release her soon if so. Dr Grey has told me that Dr Grayson will be staying in the resident residency. I'll have her back working short hours after about two weeks of recovery if she is up to it. I'll also have her shadowing me until I'm satisfied that she is competent to be on her own."

"Sounds like a plan."

Mark and Derek left shortly still in their own thoughts.

* * *

"Hi, sweetie, do you have time with me now?"

Derek is ambushed by Addie outside his office. She pushes him inside and slams the door shut behind them. His body reacts on her ministrations as his pager goes off.

"Leave it be. I need you"

Addison is untying his pants while he grabs the annoying little devise.

"I can't Addie, the chopper is on the roof. I need to go."

The door is knocked on and they can hear the Dr Bailey yelling for him to pull his pants up. He is needed on the roof a.s.a.p. Derek looks at Addison and pecks her cheek before grabbing his jacket on the run.

"You should get a private practice Derek"

Addison is yelling behind him.

_The little girl, which she only can see in her dreams, is carrying a doll, a doll that can be taken apart. She loves the doll. She got it from the nice lady married to the doctor her mother always talks to. She is nice but has sad eyes. The girl wants the lady to smile in her eyes._

"Lisa, are you awake?"


	9. Chapter 9

**_Please enjoy_**

**_~mcanna  
_**

**Chapter 9**

Derek is leaning back in the elevator. He has been in surgery nonstop for the last five hours. His back hurts a little and he longs for a hot shower or a hot bath or a massage or all of the above. His last thing to do before getting home is to do the check-up on Dr Grayson. She has been on his mind all during his surgery. The mystery of her past and the attraction he felt even with the few times he spent with her. His mind always goes into his past and more exactly Meredith. He guessed it was her similar petit frame and hair along with her eyes that made his mind wander. The elevator reaches his floor with a ding.

Lisa is sitting in her bed. She has had visitors all during the day. All of her future roommates had been there. They were a nice bunch of doctors and she felt that maybe Seattle would be her best place ever. Not that her memory reached further back than four years, since her last accident. What had she done to deserve getting into two severe head trauma in less than four years? Her head was back to its old pain but she knew that painkiller was out of questions. No way had that she wanted to become addicted and she knew the pills wouldn't help much anyhow. She used meditation and yoga to relieve the pain and tension the pain built up. It was not optimal but gave her the opportunity to work and do stuff. She would never be able to work while being on painkillers. Her only relief was her nights at a bar along with her long time friend José. She never drank at home alone since that would put her to risk to become an alcoholic. Since her last head trauma she had become a little OCD or she had it before. She didn't know since she had no one to tell her. She tried to become a good person. Her contemplation of her situations was interrupted by the entrance of the doctor she only seen on picture before; her new boss, Dr Derek Shepherd, the inventor of the Grey- Shepherd Method knocked on her door and entered.

"Dr Grayson, how are you today?"

He was still scanning her chart and frowned when seeing that she stilled refused pain medication. She sat quiet and just looked. He had an aura that pulled her in. When he looked up and she saw the brilliant blue color of his eyes she draws a quick breath. She had seen eyes like his before somewhere. Derek looked at her and he was drawn to her eyes, the greenish blue color that was so familiar to him. He quickly shakes his head and smiled at her confused look.

"Dr Grayson…"

"I'm fine Dr…"

"Sorry, I'm being impolite. I'm Dr Derek Shepherd, the surgeon that did your surgery. I have seen you after the surgery as well but I guess you were still a little out of it."

"I recognized you Dr Shepherd. I was just speechless for a second. I'm fine by the way."

"Head ache?"

"Please I already have that and won't need any more"

She tried to joke it away.

"I would feel better if you took something for your head."

"I don't want or need any pain killers."

"Ok"

"Ok?"

"Yeah, it is still your choice and your head. Question though, do you recommend your patients to use pain killers?"

"Of course, I wouldn't want them to be in pain."

"So you admit that you are in pain."

"Yes… no… well not more than I can handle. I'm fine."

"Don't you have double standards then?"

"No, how come?"

"No pain killers for you but for patients you treat."

"Well… it is my choice and my patients have the same choice."

"Ok… well as long as you don't encourage them to skip the pain killers I won't have any objections."

"Ok"

"Have you been up walking today? Like to the bathroom?"

"Mhmm"

"Balance?"

"Sure but I get tired."

"Are you up for showing me?"

She slowly slides her legs out of bed and carefully stands up. Derek is studying her intensely and motions for her to take some steps towards him. After a couple of steps she stops and grabs the end of the bed, closes her eyes and relaxes and tries to let go of some tension. She begins mumbling her mantra, all the names of the vertebrae's in Latin.

"What are you saying?"

"Just some medical stuff to get my mind off the pain."

"Oh, I never thought of that as a way to relax"

"Oh, anything can do but I had to remember all the basics at the time I learnt the relaxing method and it made it time efficient."

"Please sit down again. I can see that you can manage somehow."

"It will take a minute"

"I'll be here. How is your memory coming along? You were confused right after surgery, understandable but I need to know."

"I remember everything."

"Who is the president?"

"Obama"

"Where did you go to medical school?"

"Dartmouth"

"Where did you do your internship?"

"I… don't know…"

"You don't remember?"

"No, I had a head trauma four years ago and everything before that is gone."

"I see… what is your first memory?"

"Waking up in a dark room and I was in pain, then I was floating."

"Anyone visiting you?"

"No, I asked for mother but she never came."

"Was she in the same accident as you?"

"No… I don't think so… nobody told me anything."

"Do you have any childhood memories?"

"No, but I dream about a little girl sometimes… she has an Anatomy Jane doll."

"Ok… when did you dream about her?"

"Oh, just last night and the night before that."

"It might be an old memory resurfacing. I took out a large clot that could have caused amnesia."

"Oh"

"Do you have any contacts with a psychiatrist?"

"Not since before I began my residency at LATC."

"I would like you to meet with a Dr Wyatt here before returning to work. You can be in need of her help when or if your memory returns."

"I guess"

"Good, I'll schedule an appointment before you are released. I'll release you the day after tomorrow if you go and stay at the resident residency. You can't be alone for any long periods of time until you can walk around the block on your own and not getting a head ache. Are we clear?"

"Yeah, sure, I'd love to leave this place. I really hate hospitals."

"Good thing you became a doctor then."

Derek chuckled as she looked so cute and stubborn sitting on the side of the bed. He stepped up to her and began feeling along the sutures underneath the white cap she wore. From his pocket he pulled his flash light to check her eye movement and pupils' reaction.

"Please look to your right… and your left… up… down… follow the light… thank you."

"Can I have a look at that flash light?"

"Sure"

She read the inscription and looked at him while tracing the engraving with her finger.

"What a nice gift… I presume it is a gift."

"Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me."

"A very thoughtful gift to a neurosurgeon, she must be a nice girl… sorry I'm nosey."

She looked at the pained expression in his face.

"You don't have to answer… I just thought it looked… nice."

Derek just nodded and bid her good night. He really needed to get out the room. He didn't really understand why but her words made the tears rise in his eyes and he almost chocked on the sobs threatening to rack his body. She had such an impact on him. He ran towards his office almost knocking Addison over before slamming his door behind him, locking it. He fell on the couch and pressed his knees to his chest crying for Meredith and all the empty years that lay ahead of him. Sure Addison could fix the sex thing but not reach his hearth. He ignored the insistent knocking on his door. He didn't want to be comforted yet.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Mark got a janitor to come open Derek's door. He had been knocking on it for a while and before him Addison had spent almost half an hour outside before she gave up and came nagging to him. Why on earth did Shep hook up with a woman like her? He knew that Derek was a serial monogamist since he was old enough to date but he should just find pretty girls for one night stands.

"Cool it down a notch, Addison."

"Just open the door."

"No, you leave before I do that."

"Give me the keys."

She tries to snag them from the janitor but Mark is too quick. He grabs her shoulders to stop her.

"He needs me"

She continues to try to move to the door.

"No, he needs his brother."

"I'm his girl friend."

"For now" Mark whispered low before continuing louder "he needs family or just some time alone."

"I am his family"

"Sorry to tell you, but you aren't and will never be."

"Sure I will. We will move to LA or NY probably NY so he can have a private practice and be close to his family."

"You will what?"

"Move… so he can get better hours and better pay."

"You must be kidding me. Derek is a surgery junkie that loves the hospital."

"He can have that even if he has his own practice."

"Sure, but right now I want to talk to him… alone."

"Oh no… he needs me."

"I won't let you in."

Suddenly the door opens and Derek steps out dressed in his jacket with his briefcase in his hand, ready to leave. He walks past the two combating doctors and a surprised janitor without a word. His eyes kept to the ground. He is almost by the elevators before Mark sees him and he is inside the lift with the doors closing behind him in solitude when Mark breaks free and sprint towards the doors. In the last second he slides in and they can hear Addison slam into the door while going down.

"That was a close one"

Mark tries a small joke to test the water. Derek is just staring at the number display above the doors.

"What happened?"

"Nothing"

"That was not nothing."

"Ok"

"Ok, what?"

"Nothing"

The doors open and Derek storms out of the lobby with Mark tagging along. When he reaches his car he quickly gets in as Marks jump in shotgun. Derek looks at him for a second before starting the car and drives off not uttering a single word. On the ferry he parks and walks up to his favorite spot with Mark as a shadow. They stand there in silence. Derek is looking out over the water and Mark glancing at him. Finally Mark can take it any longer.

"This was Meredith's favorite spot on these kinds of ferries."

"It's a ferryboat."

"Yeah and why are you so gloomy?"

Derek is not answering but Mark can see tears in Derek's eyes.

"Oh man, what happened today? What got you to think about Meredith?"

"Nothing"

"Don't give me crap… I'm your brother and something got your shorts in a knot."

"Please not now."

"Ok I'll wait. Can I crash on your sofa tonight?"

"Yeah"

* * *

"Let's get Lisa's room ready."

Lexie was talking to Izzy and they both agreed that it would be good to begin emptying the room. They shanghaied Alex and George into carrying the boxes, placing them either in the den down stairs or in the cellar. The two of them rafted through the boxes as to decide where it all should go.

"Look at this, a whole box of journals written by Dr Grey."

"Look here, it is a lot a kids clothing. Did you know she had a child?"

"No, I never read anything about her private life."

"I wonder where she is now. Why did she leave this house to be rented out by the hospital and not to a child if she died? Do you think the child died?"

"This box seems to have some picture albums; maybe we should put them in the den along with the journals."

"This one we should put in the TV-room. It is lots and lots of VHS of Dr Grey's surgeries. We should make a movie night with the guys and indulge in snacks and bloody surgeries."

The gang worked swiftly and soon the girls began cleaning the master bath and the guys made good use of the hoover. Fresh bed linen and towels finished the room.

* * *

Derek brought a beer out to his spot overlooking Seattle skyline. After a while Mark joined him.

"Ready to talk?"

"Mhmm"

"So… Meredith?"

"Kind of… I gave Dr Grayson an exam to evaluate her amnesia and every time I'm near her I begin to think about Meredith… She sat on the bed annoyed and the look in her eyes was like Mer would have looked in the same situation and then I checked her pupils and she asked… to see my flashlight… She asked about it… and said that I had a nice girlfriend… giving me such thoughtful gift… My hearth just shattered again… Addison… would never give me such a simple but precious gift. She would go all out and buy me an… Armani tie… or something equally useless with an expensive brand… she never sees the beauty in the simple thing… not like Mer always did."

Derek broke down again and Mark wrapped an arm around his shoulder while patting his back a couple of times.

"Why are you keeping Addison?"

"I don't know… maybe because we have great sex and I will never give her my heart. She will be satisfied with stuff instead."

"Don't go there… sex you can have with one-night stands like I do…"

"I need someone… I don't like picking up girls in the bar."

"I know… but please don't settle with the wrong girl."

"There is no right girl anymore."

_The carousel goes round and round. Her mother is standing with her back to her. She yells and the man in front of her but he sadly shakes his head before turning around slowly walking away. The next time she can see her mother the man is gone and her mother is hunched over on a park bench crying._

"_Mother… look, no hands" _


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Dr Wyatt sat down in an armchair with a black notebook in her hands. She studied Lisa for a couple of minutes in silence. She could see a stubborn streak in the way she held her head, tension in her neck and shoulders, a nervous twirling of her wristwatch and eyes following the fishes in the aquarium.

"Dr Grayson, may I call you Elisabeth?"

"Lisa"

"Ok Lisa, it would be possible for me to help you if you spoke."

"I've read that just being in the room silent is as good for the patient as talking."

"I'm working on my brain scanning skills but have a lot left to learn. I thought you wanted to begin work."

"I do."

"You may when both I and Dr Shepherd clears you."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Whatever you feel comfortable to tell me. Tell me about your family."

"I don't have one, my mother and father are dead or something. I have no siblings that I know about or any aunts, uncles or grandparents."

"Why did you move here?"

"I really don't know."

"Where are you born?"

"I don't know"

"Can you tell me about school?"

"No"

"No you don't want to or no you don't remember."

"Don't remember."

"Why is that?"

"Cut this crap… sorry… you know I have amnesia and only remember my last four years."

"Sorry I do but I want you to tell me not just what other told me."

"Ok"

"Where are you staying here in Seattle?"

"At a hotel for the moment but I'll move to the resident residency along with a couple of doctors working here."

"Yeah, I know that place… they had some hug party a couple of months ago. I was going but decided to go home instead."

"They asked me to move in. I don't know if it was out of pity or…"

"Dr Grey would never ask you if she didn't like you."

"Does she always trust in new people?"

"I really don't know her well enough to tell you."

"She is nice. She has visited me every day."

"Where did you live in LA?"

"I had a small apartment with some stuff."

"Did the apartment help you remember anything about your life before your accident?"

"No… I needed help to even find it."

"How did you hurt your head the first time?"

"I don't know more than that I was in a motorcycle accident without a helmet."

"Do you enjoy driving the motorcycle?"

"I don't know… I've never driven a bike."

"Is this something you remember?"

"No…"

"Then how do you know that you never driven a motorcycle?"

"I don't know."

"If it wasn't you who drove then who was it?"

"I don't know."

"Who told you it was a motorcycle accident then?"

"Dr Carson"

"Your surgeon?"

"Yeah"

"Do you know why your medical file is sealed?"

"No…"

"Would you care to contact Dr Carson and have him send a copy to this hospital, Dr Webber has asked for it but they said it was sealed?"

"Sure… but why?"

"I believe it is Dr Shepherd and Dr Sloan that want to compare your old scans with the new ones."

"Oh, ok… I'll call when we are done. Are we done?"

"Yes, for today but I want to see you every day for the coming week and then we proceed from there. Is that ok for you?"

"Sure if you think it is necessary."

* * *

Derek was down in the pit checking a pregnant woman for head trauma when Addison stepped into the room.

"Hi honey"

"Hello… Dr Montgomery"

Addison stepped up to great him with a kiss as he stepped back.

"Stay professional"

"Oh, what a power couple you are"

The patient gushed from the gurney and Derek blushed but Addison just smiled proudly while looking around the room.

"We need an ultra sound, nurse Debbie can you get on for us? Derek I need to speak with you outside."

"Excuse me, I'll be right back"

Derek didn't want to embarrass the patient by being rude to Addison.

"Addison, what do you want? I really shouldn't leave her until I have her cleared."

"Oh, she is talking just fine. What happened yesterday and why didn't you answer my any of my calls?"

"Not now, not here. We'll talk tonight."

"Ok, but I need a kiss to make it through the day."

Addison leaned into him with her hand around his neck, she even lifted a foot in anticipation of the kiss but he avoided the kiss and pecked her cheek before stepping back. She almost lost her balance when he didn't support her any longer.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"The peck"

"A kiss?"

"You know that is not what I wanted."

"Not here, not now. You are acting unprofessional Addison."

Derek walks back into the patient to finish his evaluation of the patients head. She only had a small concussion and he wanted her monitored for the next twelve hours regardless of any other injuries. Just to be on the safe side. Addison stepped in with a sour expression refusing any eye contact with him. He just sighed and bid the patient good bye before returning to his office and upcoming surgery.

* * *

Lisa was sitting in her room in her own thoughts.

_She woke up from one of many surgeries asking for her mother. She was sure she heard her saying…_

"_This is how it goes when you get involved with boys. I will take care of this."_

… _but she was never there. The cute Dr Carson was by her side checking her last incision. _

"_I'm sorry Lisa, she is not here. If you give me her phone number I'll have her called. When the nurse checked her cell phone there were no numbers in the phonebook…_

She tries to wrap her mind around what Dr Carson has told her.

"The medical records are sealed. Only a judge can open them, not even you can. I'm sorry Lisa."


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you for commenting. I understand that you all get frustrated that Lisa doesn't regain her memory but what fun would that be? Well that would be fun and it will happen. You will just have to stick my simple writing and see what happends. Remember the following. Dr Ellis Grey is a well know surgeon that invented the Grey-Method. People in the medical field know her. She has a reputation. Her daughter got hurt in an accident. She is known for her harsh manners and she wants her daughter to excel in surgery as well as not throw any shadows on her. Dr Carson got a transfer patient with a severe head injury and her name was Dr Elisabeth Grayson. He had a court order to hold everything secret on the patient. He doesn't know why who or from where the patient came. For him she was a Jane Doe with a name on the file.

I also want to apologize in advance to everyone that like snails and frogs.

Please enjoy

~mcanna

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Derek was pulling at his tie. One of those he got from Addison. Every time they went shopping together she insisted on buying something for him and this far he got five useless ties. Well maybe they weren't useless since he needed ties for conferences but dinners that were whole different matter. Dressing up for dinner included a nice shirt like his old favorite in dark red that Meredith loved to see him in. He wore it once with Addison but she got him to change into a white one along with a jacket and tie before leaving for the restaurant. Tonight they were going to her favorite French restaurant where they served awfully small portions of disgusting food like frog legs and snails… well escargots. What was wrong with a nice steak and carbs in a basket… grilled salmon with a salad? Finally Addison emerged from her bedroom dressed in a black nice dress that showed off her figure. She looked extremely sexy and he could feel himself reacting on the sight but before she would allow him to act on his arousal he had some groveling to do.

"You look beautiful"

He leaned in to peck her cheek knowing very well that she would get mad if he smudged her lipstick.

"Thank you. That tie really suits you."

He put his hand on her lower back to guide her to the car.

* * *

Mark along with the fabulous five and Owen were having a party at Joe's. Cristina was sitting in Owen's lap and he was whispering in her ear. She giggled and slapped his arms after getting a blush adorning her cheeks. Mark looked at his left as Lexie almost fell into his lap trying to stand up. She was heavily intoxicated.

"You my dear friend have to take it easy with those shots."

"What?"

She giggled again and this time she fell into his lap. Mark grabbed her slim waist and couldn't help himself sniffing her neck. She smelled sweet and whiskey. He left a tender kiss on her neck. She looked around at him with a question in her eyes. His eyes responded and she stood up this time with his help.

"See you at home friends."

Lexie took a step towards the door and Mark was quick to follow after grabbing their jackets and her purse. His arm wrapped itself around her waist and he walked her towards the door nodding good night to Joe. Owen looked up and saw them leave and he untangled himself from Cristina and placed her over his shoulder. Cristina was laughing and slapped his back but her voice revealed how intoxicated she was when she demanded to be put down. Owen obeyed but she couldn't stand on her legs so he put her over his shoulder again and left Izzy, George and Alex behind. The three left were too wasted to even notice their departure. Joe had taken their car keys a long while ago and decided to cut them off and sober them up before calling a cab for them.

* * *

On the way up in the elevator Derek finally got rewarded for his good behavior and was allowed to kiss Addison. When he tried to go further she pulled away.

"Not tonight Derek."

"Why?"

"I haven't forgiven you yet. I want to go downtown shopping this weekend and you can have the couch until then."

"You can't be serious?"

"Oh yes, I am. You can sleep on the couch."

She was opening the front door and looked around. Derek was turned around towards the elevator.

"Where are you going?"

He didn't answer and just stepped into the lift as the door opened.

"Derek… Derek don't you leave… don't you dare to leave."

"I dare"

He responded as the door closed not sure if she heard him or not. There was no way he was going to sleep on her couch like a misbehaving husband. It was too late to take the ferry so he decided on sleeping at Mark's place. He quickly sent him a text when he didn't get an answer and drove off towards Mark's apartment. A quick look around the apartment confirmed that Mark wasn't there so Derek just stepped into the shower before falling into the bed in the guestroom.

Derek woke up early and made himself a large coffee while taking a quick shower. He left the coffeemaker on with the timer set as he guessed that Mark would pass by to change his clothes. There wasn't a man more keen on always showing up in an impeccable style, different every morning.

* * *

Mark stepped into his apartment early the following morning and was met by the smell of coffee. He wondered who had made it. A quick look around the apartment showed nothing strange but for a pot of freshly made coffee and a note on the fridge.

"You are out of milk / D"

Mark grabbed his phone and checked missed calls and found the text from Derek. A shower, a shave and clean clothes later he left for the hospital with coffee in his hand and his first appointment feeling happy that Derek had not spent the night with Addison. She was a bitch and he really wanted her out of his brother's life. Inside the car he found a lipstick on the passenger side. As he opened it he smelled the sweet aroma of the sweet taste he had of Lexie's lips, their night together coming back into his mind and his pants suddenly feeling tighter than usual.

* * *

Owen stepped in behind Cristina in her steamy morning shower.

"You left me all alone"

He kissed down her spine while letting his hands travel along her soft skin.

"You were tired. You did a lot of work last night."

"But I'm up for more"

"I can…"

Her sentence was silence and turned into a soft moan as he caught her lips in a searing kiss. The steam got if possible thicker inside the shower wall.

* * *

Three of the four residents in the resident residency woke up grumpy. Izzy was in the kitchen making pancakes in an attempt to stave off their hangovers. George was sitting with his head resting on the kitchen table moaning. The door slammed shut as Alex came in all sweaty after his morning run.

"Why are you this energetic?"

"A run clears your head. You should try."

Alex slapped George on the back passing towards the refrigerator and picking up a bottle of water.

"Who did all the moaning and screaming last night? Was it a girl you brought or little Miss Grey with a guy? Who is the guy if it was Lexie?"

"Was it just one guy?"

George whined but Izzy continued.

"It was Lexie and I think Mark. I saw his car out there when I went up for water a couple of hours ago. I believe it was after the loud screaming and before the headboard banging began."

Lexie came strolling into the kitchen in search for coffee. The three people turned and looked.

"What?"

"Mark does have a lot of energy."

"What?"

"I never thought you had that in you. Embrace your sex but please warn us next time or even better… go to his place."

"You… heard"

Lexie blushed and hurried out of the kitchen leaving the other to talk.

* * *

_"If you want to become something you better get ready now. I expect you to be extra ordinary not just ordinary. A surgeon is always in good time for everything."_

_"Yes mother"_

_She hurried down the stairs as she tied her pink hair into a loose ponytail, not that her mother even noticed the hair color. She had colored it in an attempt to get her mother's attention but the last ten days she hadn't heard a single word about it._

_"I'll be late tonight. I left you some food money on the counter. Order something healthy for once._

_"Yes mother"_

_"Get your lazy behind into the car so I can drop you off and check your homework before class."_

_"Yes mother"_

_"Bye m…"_

Lisa woke up startled. She had seen her mother standing downstairs waiting for her and she had seen a girl with really pink hair dressed in a school uniform. When she woke up it felt like her mother was going to say something more. She just wondered what.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Derek was sitting in his office preparing for the day when his resident entered after a soft knock. The other neurosurgeons dropped in shortly and they all had a short briefing of the day's work. The resident was to take Dr Grayson for a final CT and an intern to take her to a meeting with Dr Wyatt before releasing her. They had a couple of scheduled surgeries and Derek was doing a Grey-Shepherd surgery later in the day. He left the meeting in search for more coffee as he ran into Mark. Mark had his signature smirk telling Derek that he got lucky the night before.

"Who's the girl or don't you remember?"

"What?"

Mark tried to look innocent, to innocent in Derek's eyes.

"I must know her then. Does she work here?"

"Mhmm"

"I haven't seen any new ones in a while. Who would be stupid enough to have sex with you?"

Mark wasn't listening to Derek any more as he saw Lexie hurry past him with her head down looking embarrassed. Alex was just behind her and sent Mark a knowing smirk.

"I didn't know old guys had so much stamina."

"Did you say something Dr Karev?"

"Me… no… just that age doesn't inflict on nightly activities."

"Oh"

"Shut it evil spawn"

Lexie had stopped and listening to the men talking with a blush adorning her cheeks.

"You and Dr Grey?"

Derek looked at his brother with a head shake as his pager went off. He took off running towards the pit.

"Dr Grey, want to meet me for lunch later?"

"Yes… no… sure"

Lexie blushed as she walked towards her destination to the sound of Alex chanting beside her.

"Lexie and Mark sitting in a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G… "

"Shut up Alex."

* * *

Lisa was enduring the last tests after her appointment with Dr Wyatt. They had spoken about her dreams not getting anywhere. She had a new appointment the next day but she would endure it and all the ones following in the course of getting back to work… well begin work as a fellow.

Izzy was the one picking up Lisa for going home as she had a short day. They were packing the few things Lisa had in her hospital room. Izzy had been to her hotel already picking up all her stuff and had brought jeans and a sweater to go home in.

"Are you guys sure about this?"

"About what?"

"Me moving in?"

"Yeah, we want you to… it is a nice house and you get your own room and marvelous roommates."

"But I can't cook and you know nothing about me… hell even I don't know anything about me."

"We can find out more together and you know nothing about us and you still accepted. Get into those pants now and let's go. I want to show you your room."

The two doctors made their way out to the car. Lisa grumpy because of the rule about sitting in a wheelchair when leaving the hospital and Izzy bubbling of excitement.

* * *

Addison had arrived mad to the hospital but every time Derek saw her he hurried away. She realized that maybe she treated him a little harsh the night before. When Derek arrived to his office after telling a family that their son might be in a coma after surgery and no one could tell if he ever would wake up again he found Addison perched on his couch. He almost turned around but her voice stopped him.

"I'm sorry honey."

"What?"

Never had he heard her apologize before.

"I'm sorry for my behavior last night. Please forgive me."

She pleaded as she stood up and made her way over to him. Her hand reached for his and she dragged him towards the couch.

"I want to make up with you… please Derek… forgive me… I don't know what came over me… I love you."

She look at him expectantly before letting a small tear slide down her cheek. Her hands moved expertly over his body and had already untied his scrub pants.

"Addison"

Derek growled as her hand worked its way down his briefs. He really wanted to think more about their relationship but his body betrayed him. With a moan he leaned her backwards and let his body take charge. It was a release for his body; too bad his mind where elsewhere.

* * *

Izzy drove up the hill towards the house with Lisa in the back seat. She was a little pissed off that Lisa refused to sit up front but when she saw the stress Lisa was under she accepted. A quick glance back showed that Lisa was doing some kind of mental exercise.

When they arrived Lisa opened her eyes and picked up her purse while sliding out of the car. She didn't look around but walked straight up the stairs after grabbing a suitcase from the trunk.

"Take it easy Lisa. Let Alex carry your stuff when he gets home in a little while. You just got out of the hospital."

"I'm not sick"

"You just had brain surgery."

"Yeah so what?"

"Just saying"

Izzy looked at Lisa and wondered what was wrong she was so tense.

"Are you in pain?"

"I'm fine"

Izzy studied her as she picked up the key and let them in. Lisa was moving very carefully and kept her head very still. When she looked around she turned her whole body instead of just her head. They stepped into the foyer and Izzy pointed to the different doors and openings describing the layout of the ground floor. She then moved towards the stairs and Lisa followed slowly behind. Upstairs Izzy went straight for the master bedroom. When she opened the door she saw Lisa staring at George's room.

"Lisa are you alright?"

"I'm fine… who lives there?"

"George"

"Oh ok"

Lisa turned back towards her room and slowly entered looking around until her eyes caught the bed.

"Do you mind if I lay down for a while?"

"No… go ahead… I'll be down stair preparing dinner. Do want something now?"

"No… thank you"

Lisa almost moaned when feeling the soft mattress and pillow under her head. If heaven felt like this she wouldn't mind dying. Izzy looked at Lisa before softly closing the door behind her.

* * *

"_Daddy… daddy can I help make cookies?"_

"_Sure sweet heart… grab a spoon and you can be my first taster."_

"_Thank you daddy"_

"_Here you go…"_

"_I luv you daddy"_

"_I love you too sweetie"_

Lisa woke up with a feeling of being loved unconditionally and sad when she realized it was just a dream but for the smell of newly made cookies drifting into her room.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The following weeks Lisa got better. She had less headaches or not as intense as before. Her stitches were taken out one day after she had her meeting with Dr Wyatt. She felt at home in the house. That she had felt from the moment she stepped inside. It was like she already knew where everything went. Every day one of the other inhabitants spent most of their day at home with her and acted as her driver for her daily visit at the hospital.

"I asked Cristina and Owen to come over tonight"

Lexie was stirring a red sauce for pasta as Lisa was setting the table.

"Mhmm"

"I thought we could have a movie night. Are you in?"

"What are we watching?"

"Surgeries"

"Surgeries?"

"Yeah, we found a whole box of surgery tapes with Dr Grey. We thought it could be fun and bloody gory to watch. We might even learn something."

"Ok I guess I can do that."

"If you get a headache it is just for you to go sleep or something upstairs."

"Ok"

They continued preparing their supper and were joined by George and Izzy.

The door bell rang and Lisa who just passed the door went and opened looking surprised at the people outside.

"Oh, hi… come in…"

She didn't even finish her sentence before Cristina and Mark pushed by her carrying bags of food and beer. Owen saw her confused face.

"Didn't you expect us?"

"You and Cristina, yes… not Dr Sloan."

"Oh Mark is usually with us. He has his eyes on Lexie"

Owen chuckled and Lisa turned and saw Lexie pushing away from Mark's arms with a giggle.

"Oh… I see… I didn't know"

"Know what?"

Alex just opened the door finally home after a long shift.

"Lexie and Dr…"

"Lisa… outside the OR it is Mark."

He sent her a wink before continuing.

"You look a lot better even though you have very short hair."

"Jeez, thank you Dr Sloan… Mark… my hairdresser did her best."

She slowly strokes her one and a half centimeter long hair.

"You look beautiful… stop it Lisa"

Alex steps up and hugs her from behind knowing very well that the hair is something she doesn't like.

"I hate this haircut"

She whispers back to him. He pushes her down in a chair and tells her to wait there. A minute later his running steps are heard coming down the stairs. He pulls a brown bag from behind his back.

"Here"

"You think I will look better with a bag over my head?"

"No but you might want what is inside. I was going to give it to you for your first day at work but you might use it already."

Lisa had opened the bag and pulled out a lavender scrub cap with lavender flowers printed all around.

"Oh… thank you Alex… it is beautiful… you didn't have to."

"No… but I wanted to and Izzy helped me pick it out."

Lisa stepped up and gave him a hug as a thank you and then she hugged Izzy as well.

"I thought that you might want something for that bald head when you are to meet patients and family at least until a hairdresser can make something of your hair."

Izzy added the last and hugged her again.

"When does the movie begin? I want blood. Why didn't you get her a happy color like red… red like blood? She is a surgeon."

Cristina grabbed the remote and pushed play before cuddling back beside Owen. Lexie sat snuggled under Mark's arm in an armchair, Izzy had her feet in Alex knee sitting on the love seat. George sat on the floor in front of the couch and Lisa had the recliner.

The doctors all cheered when Dr Grey pulled the face off a patient and held their breath when another patient coded during a transplant but Dr Grey saved the patient after a lot of work. They could hear Dr Grey speaking during every surgery teaching the residents and interns in the OR and them as well. Lisa fell into a slumber still hearing the voice and seeing the eyes of the surgeon from the television accompanied with her friends cheering.

* * *

Derek and Addison spent the night together as they had done since their makeup session in his office. Addison had realized that Derek didn't like when she whined too much and he tried to not make her angry. Addison saw their future as bright and shiny as a future wife to a successful husband can do and she herself becoming the foremost OB on the west coast or even the whole country. It was just that she believed that they needed to move to a larger city.

"Derek"

"Mhmm"

He was almost asleep but her tone indicated that she wanted to talk and from previous occasions he knew she wouldn't let him sleep before it was done.

"Derek… wake up"

"I'm awake"

He scooted back against the headboard in a sitting position.

"I have to go on a consult to LA next week and I will stay at least for the week maybe up to three weeks."

"Why?"

"A Siamese pregnancy that Naomi wants my opinion on."

"That's a huge opportunity for you."

"For you as well because if it is possible to separate them I want you to head the surgery."

"Oh… wow…"

"I thought that you maybe could fly down for a couple of days as well."

"Yeah"

"Fine, then that is settled. Are you sleepy?"

"No"

Her hand had already detected that and he closed his eyes with a moan.

* * *

"_You can't be here. You should be home with… the nanny. Where is your nanny by the way?"_

"_You fired her yesterday mother."_

"_I did? Oh well you are eleven. You don't need a nanny any longer. Here is some cab money. Call for some pizza and go to bed at nine. Make sure to do your homework. I'll be home later and take you to school in the morning. Now go, you can't disturb me while working. Off you go."_

"_Yes mother"_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Lisa had been seeing Dr Wyatt every single day for the last three weeks and she was feeling a lot better. The last two days she had walked down to the park at the end of the road and taken a long walk all around it. It had felt good and liberating.

"I would like to begin work."

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah, for a couple of hours a day to begin with."

"How is your headache?"

"Oh it is there but I manage."

"Are you sure… really sure?"

"Yes"

"Ok, I'll schedule a check up with Dr Shepherd and he'll do what's needed. I have one condition though."

"What?"

"You have to meet with me after each of your shifts."

"Ok"

"If I feel you are doing too much I will stop you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but I am ready. Can I have that neuro check today you think?"

"I'll ask my secretary to make the reservation as we finish up here."

Dr Wyatt left for a moment and when she came back they spoke about a couple of simple things. Lisa just wanted to leave and get cleared to work. She would be happy doing scut. A knock on the door stopped their talk and Lisa got an appointment for the afternoon. She almost skipped out the door.

* * *

"Hi… I'm Dr Sloan… Lisa? What are you doing here?"

"Hi Dr Sloan"

"Mark… you are to call me Mark."

"Not when I'm a patient."

"What can I do for you Dr Grayson?"

"Clear me for work. I got Dr Wyatt's clearance and I need yours and Dr Shepherd's as well, Dr Shepherd as both my doctor and my boss."

"Ok… I'll send you to do a final CT and then neuro can take over."

Mark hands the chart to the nurse after scribbling in it and asks for a reservation being made at radiology. The nurse disappears and he grabs a pair of gloves. His fingers trace the scaring around the plate. A large magnifier is pulled down and he looks at the scaring.

"I did good… if I can say so myself."

"Aren't you afraid your ego might get stuck in the doorway?"

"No, they open wide."

"Humbleness I hear is a virtue."

"Yes but I speak the truth. I make as good stitches as Dr Carson."

His fingers follow her old scaring as he looks at in the magnifier.

"Did you get a hold of your old plates?"

"No"

"I'm curious now but what happened to you?"

"I don't know."

"No memories?"

"I have some dreams but nothing I can use."

"To bad."

* * *

Lisa is back in the waiting room after her CT when she gets called again. Inside the room she is met by a doctor she doesn't know.

"I'm Dr Nelson"

"I'm Lisa Grayson"

"You and I will be working together soon. Dr Shepherd asked me to do a quick neuro checkup on you. He looked at your plates but is scrubbing in for a procedure right now. The Grey-Shepherd method if you heard about it."

He asked her to balance and he checked her reflexes, asked about her headache and checked her eyes. After every test he muttered and scribbled in her chart.

"You are better than expected. I will say that you can start work as soon as you are scheduled."

"Thank you Dr Nelson."

"Ok… I'll see you soon then Dr Grayson… bye."

Lisa left the room and headed towards the Chiefs office to ask for a schedule. She then left the hospital in a cab.

* * *

Derek came out from his surgery and found Mark in his office.

"Do you want to have drink at Joe's?"

"Sure"

"You're available? Where is your mistress?"

"She is not my mistress… she is my girlfriend… use her name."

"Ok… where is Addison… is she working?"

"Yes, but in LA on a consult. She left last night."

"How long will she stay there?"

"At least this week maybe a couple of more."

"Good… I mean to bad."

"I'm going down there if her case is being surgical. It is Siamese twins."

"Need a plastics god?"

"Maybe"

"So… drink?"

* * *

Lisa walked down the stairs after dinner wearing skinny jeans, a tight sweater and a bright pink wig.

"Ready to go? I want to celebrate and thank you guys for all the help through my recovery."

She looked at the stunned people sitting in the kitchen.

"Why are wearing a pink wig?"

George's eyes almost popped out.

"I don't want people to stare and pity me. This way they just stare. Let's go get wasted."

George drove as he was the only one working the following day. Lisa had tomorrow off and would then begin work with only 3 hours per day for the first week.

They parked and the five of them walked into Joe's bantering with each other. It was the first time for Lisa at Joe's and she looked around. It was a homey place with a long dark bar and booths along the opposite wall. She steered straight to a bar stool and hopped up. A heavy built man stopped drying the glass he was doing and just stared.

"Hi Joe, this is Dr Lisa Grayson that is staying with us."

Lexie and Izzy took a stool on each side of her as Joe reached out his hand in greeting.

"I've heard about you. How is your head?"

"Fine, can I have three shots of tequila and keep them coming."

"You will be sorry in the morning."

"I'm always sorry in the morning."

Joe poured the shots and looked as she expertly down the first. He could see that this was far from her first taste of the strong liquor. He poured the rest their preferred drinks.

"Joe… put my friends' drinks and other orders on my tab tonight. It is my treat."

"Ok, but your first set is on the house."

* * *

Derek and Mark met up in the lobby after showering and changing into street clothes. They grabbed their light jackets and left for Joe's unaware of all the eyes following the two hot doctors. Derek was wearing nice slacks and his indigo blue shirt making his eyes sparkle. Mark was dressed in a black tee shirt and black jeans along with black shiny shoes. They walked over the parking lot bantering about everything and nothing, just like when they were kids in high school. When they entered the bar the party was in full bloom. Lexie, George and Cristina were playing dart. Alex, Owen and Izzy were playing pool.

"They guys are here"

Mark hurries over to the dart game and sweeps Lexie into a bear hug. Her giggle is heard over the buzz and laughter and the ever playing jukebox. Derek is planted at the door… ogling one person sitting by the bar… the petit frame, skinny jeans hugging the butt into a perfect heart shape and long skinny legs, a pale green sweater wrapped over the shoulders with a darker green top below… a bright pink wig… the slender fingers play with a couple of shot glasses stacking them into a pyramid. After shaking his head he slowly closes in on the woman and an empty stool on the far side of her. When he passes behind her he think he lost his mind when a waft of lavender attacks his senses.

"Meredith?"


	16. Chapter 16

_**Just so you remember where we left off**_

_Derek and Mark met up in the lobby after showering and changing into street clothes. They grabbed their light jackets and left for Joe's unaware of all the eyes following the two hot doctors. Derek was wearing nice slacks and his indigo blue shirt making his eyes sparkle. Mark was dressed in a black tee shirt and black jeans along with black shiny shoes. They walked over the parking lot bantering about everything and nothing, just like when they were kids in high school. When they entered the bar the party was in full bloom. Lexie, George and Cristina were playing dart. Alex, Owen and Izzy were playing pool._

"_They guys are here"_

_Mark hurries over to the dart game and sweeps Lexie into a bear hug. Her giggle is heard over the buzz and laughter and the ever playing jukebox. Derek is planted at the door… ogling one person sitting by the bar… the petit frame, skinny jeans hugging the butt into a perfect heart shape and long skinny legs, a pale green sweater wrapped over the shoulders with a darker green top below… a bright pink wig… the slender fingers play with a couple of shot glasses stacking them into a pyramid. After shaking his head he slowly closes in on the woman and an empty stool on the far side of her. When he passes behind her he think he lost his mind when a waft of lavender attacks his senses. _

"_Meredith?"_

The person didn't move and he put his hand on her shoulder and it made her jump slightly and turn around. The devastation hit Derek in the gut. It wasn't Meredith… it was… Lisa… Dr Grayson.

"Hi Dr Shepherd."

"Hi Dr Grayson, what are you doing here?"

He grabbed the glass Joe had poured him upon entering the bar and downed it in one huge gulp.

"I'm celebrating… I'm starting work… the day after tomorrow."

"That's good"

They stared at their glasses for a while.

"Why are you wearing that wig?"

"I don't want to have people to pity me. With this they just stare."

"Ok… are you wearing it to work?"

"No… I'll wear my new scrub cap. It is really pretty… lavender… my favorite color."

Derek got a third blow to his gut and began feeling nausea.

"You look sick Dr Shepherd"

"I'm fine"

"No you are not and when people say they are fine they are usually lying."

"I'm fine… I'm just going to… get some… air"

He turn to leave at the same time Mark sneak behind Lisa and grab her around the waist tipping her backwards to look down into her eyes. She lets out a giggle that makes Derek bolt from the room.

"What's wrong with him?"

Mark asks as he raises Lisa to an upright position.

"I don't know… he looked sick and said he needed air."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine… more Joe"

She played with her six small shot glasses in front of her waiting for the next set of three. Her head didn't hurt and she felt really good. She turned and looked at her game playing friends.

* * *

Mark followed Derek out and found him leaning over the bench outside the door hyperventilating.

"Slow down Derek… take slow deep breaths… slow deep breathing."

It took a while before Derek could control his breathing but when he did he sank down on the bench with tears pouring down his cheek.

"Talk Derek"

"Not here… please… can you take me home?"

"I'll get the car… do you want to come or do you want me to come and get you?"

"I'll come."

* * *

Lisa kept drinking but when she asked for her eleventh shot Joe cut her off. Her friends were wasted but for George and he drove them home. She went straight to bed after a couple of aspirin and water and fell into a deep sleep. Her head felt normal.

On the ferryboat Derek walked up to his and Meredith's favorite spot. Mark tagged along silently waiting for him to speak.

"Meredith wore… lavender conditioner in her hair, she dressed in skinny jeans… she drank shots of tequila in the bar and she loved the color of lavender… she had a pink wig just like the one Dr Grayson wore tonight… it reminded her of when she rebelled on her mother and colored her hair candy pink… she wore at a bar one night looking exactly like Lisa did tonight. Damn it… Lisa could be Meredith's sister… she could be Meredith."

He broke down again and Mark led him down to the car when they reached the harbor on Bainbridge Island. Derek just followed like a small lost child. When they arrived to the trailer Derek changed into his fishing clothes and grabbed a pole and his tackle box. Derek would talk when he was ready.

Mark knew better than to follow. He made the sofa up and went to bed his head full with thoughts. He dreamt about what Derek had said and what he knew about Dr Grayson.

* * *

Derek is sitting on his small pier with the fishing pole safely stuck between his knees. He pulls up a small velvet bag with a smaller blue box inside. He opens the box and picks up the item it holds safely on a bed of blue velvet. In his hand he cradles a small sparkling gem… the engagement ring he had planned to give to Meredith the day after their accident. His plan had been to propose on the beach under the dark sky painted with fireworks from the annual celebration of Fourth of July. The tears trickles down his cheeks and he angrily sweps them away. His thoughts lingers on his memories of them as a couple… like the night when she met him in the bar wearing that ridiculous pink wig and how they spent the night making love with her just wearing the wig. It was just a couple of weeks before her death.

* * *

"_Hi"_

_She ignores him and keeps her eyes on the bottles behind the bartender. She can see in the mirror that the man talking to her looks hot wearing a dark red shirt and perfectly made hair and his voice has that soft timbre that makes her spine tickle and skin to feel flushed._

"_You're ignoring me"_

"_Trying to"_

_She sweeps another shot of tequila still not looking at him._

"_You shouldn't ignore me. If you know me you'll love me."_

_She begins giggling and turn to look into his sparkling blue eye. Her eyes are full of love that she tries hard to hide and her pink hair sweeps across her face._

"_So what's your story?"_

"_I don't have a story… I'm just a girl in a bar."_

"_I'm just a guy."_

_Both of them got lost in the eyes of the other… the heat growing by the second as they look into each other's eyes. Both reach for their glasses and finish them off. He throws some bills on the bar and hand in hand they run from the bar towards their small apartment… giggling all the way. Her pink wig is glowing in the light of the passing car lights and she smells of lavender and tequila._


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Derek walked back into the trailer at dawn feeling a slight chill from being up and outside the whole night, his catch of the night was swiftly stored in the fridge. He started the coffee maker before entering the shower to warm up and clean up. As he got dressed he kicked Mark's sofa bed and woke him up so they could go to the hospital together. Mark was in the shower and began yelling when the warm water ran out halfway through. It didn't take long for him to exit with a growl. Derek just laughed at his grumpy best friend and gave him a coffee to go when he rinsed his bowl of muesli before leaving for the car.

Mark couldn't let go of the dreams he had during the night. He had dreamt about Meredith being alive and Derek happy. He went to his office and prepared for the day. The day was full of meetings, consults and two surgeries but his dreams never left his mind at peace. Something was wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. Something kept slipping by and he felt frustrated.

Derek had an easy day with just paperwork and an early consult. He sat in his office after his consult. The rest of the time was his to use. If nothing happened in the pit he would be able to go home early. When he opened his top drawer he found his picture pack on top. The pictures in the stack was one of his most precious possessions, all the pictures had Meredith on them or showed placed they went together. He was sitting there flipping through them remembering their time together. The last picture was a portrait of her and he sat there looking for a long time. His hand brushed past the small box he brought with him from his tackle box and carried in his pocket all day. A sudden surge made him bring it up and open the tiny box to have another look. The door suddenly burst open with a crash.

* * *

The plate at the door read Ms. Donatella Montenassi Attorney at Law and the messenger boy knocked after being shown to the door by a secretary.

"Ms. Montenassi?"

"Yes, how can I help you?"

"I'm from Fed Ex and I have a package for you to sign personally."

"Please"

She waved him forward and signed the touch screen he held up and received the package in return. The messenger boy left with a small tip and she looked at the package. The envelope read Roseville Nursing Home, Seattle in the top left corner. She wondered what Dr Grey wanted this time. The lady was becoming more and more affected by her early onset Alzheimer. It was sad but annoying and paid top money so Ms. Montenassi ripped the envelope open to get it over with. When she read her eyes bulged from her head and she had to reread the short letter a couple of times before understanding it. It was written four years ago but only delivered now when the disease was so bad that Dr Grey needed to sign over power of attorney to her… daughter? Ms Montenassi had to read that paragraph many times since as far as she knew the daughter died four years ago in a tragic car accident. She, Ms Montenassi, was to visit Dr Grey and receive a file as soon as possible as time was of essence since her client was becoming worse by the day. How on earth was this possible? She made her secretary book her on the next possible flight to Seattle from Boston.

* * *

"Dr Torres, to what may I have the honor?"

Derek looked up at the doctor barging in through the door.

"I need a consult, down in the pit. Do you have time?"

"What is it?"

He had closed the tiny box and slides it back into his pocket as he looked expectantly at Dr Torres. She on the other hand had her eyes on his hands following the movement as he put the box back into his pocket.

"Dr Torres?"

"Oh… sorry… we have an amputee… clean cut of lower left arm. I hope that you can reattach the nerves."

"Ok… let's go."

Derek leaves his office as Torres trails behind. They are both minding their own business in the elevator. The patient was heavily sedated and Derek had the opportunity to examine the stump thoroughly along with cut off hand.

"Book an OR."

He hurried out of the room to have a quick talk with the family before heading off towards the OR. The surgery was in the third hour when he noticed a movement in the gallery. His heart made a double beat before he realized that it wasn't Meredith sitting there with her knees pulled up hugging them close. It was just that the posture was so like Meredith. Lisa was wearing a beanie in bright pink and he was reminded of the night before. Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out he refocused on his job and continued his microscopic work. It felt good to have her watching his work though.

* * *

Addison was meeting with her old friends Naomi and Sam who ran a private practice together. They offered Addison partnership as they needed an OB to care for all their pregnant patients. They wanted Derek to join as well. Addison was negotiating both their contracts when she got an urgent text from Dr Torres. She read the text and smiled excitedly before turning back to her friends.

"We will accept it. You can expect us both here in four weeks."

* * *

Mark was in the shower when he suddenly got an idea. He hurried out dripping wet with just a towel wrapped around his hips. Lexie sat on his couch with Izzy and they just stared at the toned chest stepping out from the bathroom with a steam following behind. He tied the towel as he headed for the desk. Halfway there he stopped when hearing giggle from the couch. He almost jumped but collected herself with a smirk.

"Like what you see ladies?"

Both girls just broke down into laugher and excused themselves. Lexie made her way up to him and gave his confused lips a quick peck.

"See you later hottie"

Mark shook his head and continued on his mission towards the computer. He had an idea and he planned to follow it through.

* * *

Derek was in the scrub room after another successful surgery when his phone signaled an incoming text. He pulled up the phone and read the short message. It made him frown and he quickly replied before hitting speed dial number two waiting for the answer.

"Hi… it's me"

"Hi honey"

"I miss you"

He almost choked on a sob.

"Pick me up tomorrow morning at the airport."

"I love you…"

"I love you Derek."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Lisa arrived to the hospital early and had time to walk through the neurology department and learning a little about the patients before the morning meeting. She had dressed in her new scrubs along with the pristine white lab coat on top. She covered the little hair she had with her lavender scrubcap. She knew she needed more caps and had put an order down the day before. At Dr Shepherd's door she hesitates long enough for a resident to notice her.

"You must be the Dr Grayson Dr Shepherd told us about. I'm Martin Mohr a fourth year resident."

"Hi I'm Lisa Grayson fellow"

"Come in and take seat before the rest hogs them and forces you to stand in the back. I know that you have been in close contact with Dr Shepherd's scalpel even though I wasn't in on your case. Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine but only working three hour days this week."

She entered the room and was happy to see that Dr Shepherd wasn't there but he came running just behind the rest of the neurological staff.

"Sorry I'm late. Let's get things rolling."

He quickly introduced Lisa and listened to the nurse rattling of patients' stats. The nurse proceeded with handing out appropriate charts to the different doctors to prepare for rounds. Lisa didn't get any and was the only one left with Derek.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to be the neuro on call for the pit. You can practice some stitching and get acquainted with the hospital. Dr Hunt will be overseeing all your patients' treatments today."

"So I'll be an intern again?"

"Almost, but just until I know what you can do and know your skills. I am also your doctor and I know that you are not able to do long surgeries yet."

"I was an intern in New York."

She looked surprised at her own words. Derek looked up from his writing.

"You were?"

"I think so…"

"What hospital?"

"I don't know but I think it was New York."

"Have you had anymore dreams or other memories?"

"Yeah, but nothing to help me remember more… I think."

"It will be better… take a day at a time but you can't skip out of your meetings with Dr Wyatt and you can't work for more than three hours a day this week."

"Ok"

"I'll be out for an hour I have to go to the airport."

Lisa left for the pit and Derek began changing into streets clothes when his pager went off with 911.

* * *

Addison was leaving LA with two very nice contracts in her briefcase. Now she looked around the arrival hall at SeaTac but didn't see Derek. She had left him a voicemail the night before and told him about her early arrival. When she didn't find him she pushed through the people lined up for a cab and grabbed one just in front of an elderly lady.

* * *

Lisa was in the pit evaluating an emergency. The patient, a boy about 16 years old, had hit the head in the gutter making a jump with his bike but missing the receiving ramp. Drs Sloan and Shepherd came both running being paged to the patient.

"Dr Grayson… what do we have?"

"This is Nick Johnson, 16 years old; hit his head in the gutter when missing a jump with his bike. He is showing symptoms of a concussion and he has probably crushed the bone around his eye. Sight is twenty/twenty but a bleed is in progress. I paged Ophthalmology. Nick… this is Drs Shepherd and Sloan."

"Hi Nick, I'm Derek and want to check how your responses are. Dr Sloan will fix your face. "

"Mum?"

"Dr Grayson… is his parents on their way?"

"Yes doctor… an intern is calling."

"Great…how do we proceed? "

Lisa responds to Derek's questions and it feels like he is quizzing her for a test, like he has done it before. Her eyes lock with his and she blushes. He looks at her with the strangest feeling like she is his Meredith but not. I he felt confused but even more than sure of a decision he made.

* * *

At the front desk in the lobby a woman asks for Dr Shepherd. She is pointed towards the elevators and to ask again at the fourth floor nurses' station. When she did as directed she saw the woman from the airport turning to look at her.

"Excuse me but did you ask for Dr Shepherd?"

"Yes I did I am Carolyn Shepherd, his mother."

"Oh I didn't know that you were coming."

Mrs. Shepherd raised her right eyebrow in question.

"I'm sorry I'm being impolite and rude. I am Addison."

"Addison… oh… you are the girl my son has been seeing?"

"Yes… I'm curious and probably rude by asking but what are you doing here? Does he know that you are here?"

"Oh yes, he called me and asked me to come."

"Oh… I see… I've been on a consult for the last couple of days and just got here from the airport."

"I know"

"You know?"

Addison looked pleased when hearing this.

* * *

Derek scrubbed out of surgery. He had saved Nick's facial nerve and Mark had rebuilt the area around the eye. He assumed his mother was well treated since a nurse had informed him about her arrival.

"Are you coming Mark?"

"Yeah, I just realized something I've been missing. I'll meet with you and mum in your office in ten minutes."

Upon entering his office Derek straightens his scrubs and removed the scrubcap well knowing that his mother would do it for him otherwise.

"Hi Mum"

He stops and stares at the scene in front of him. His mother was sitting on the couch chatting with Addison. The two of them looked up with equally bright smiles.

"Derek"

"Honey"

He stepped up to the women and kissed their cheeks.

"Why are you here? I thought you were to stay in LA for another week?"

He whispered in Addison's ear.

"Oh I missed you honey and I have great news."

"Ok"

He turned to his mother and wrapped her into his arms.

"Thank you mum for coming. I need to talk to you."

"I know son. Addison and I have been talking to a while and I know. Congratulations!"

"What?"

He took a step back and stared at her just as his door burst open again. Mark bolted through the door.

"Derek… I found something."

* * *

Lisa sat at home studying the Grey-Shepherd Method. She would be scrubbing in on her first surgery at SGH the following day and wanted to know as much as possible. While reading she made notes in the marginal of the page. Was it really two catheters going in at the same time and wasn't it supposed be just a mixture of… she soon fell asleep.

"…_but if we were to use a virus to destroy the tumor? Couldn't viruses kill cancer cells? They can make changes in the molecular structure."_

"…_but how do we make it stay inside the tumor?"_

"_Is there anything that can be injected in the surrounding tissue or something inside the tumor before we add the mix?"_

"_Let's try it out in the lab."_

_He took her hand and dragged her out of their study room. She had to run to keep up with his long strides._

"_Wait for me Der you have longer legs than me."_

"_But yours are sexier… and wrapped around my waist they are marvelous."_

_He leaned in and kissed her deeply outside the door to the laboratory. She could feel herself heating up but pushed him off._

"_Tonight… let's see if we have something to celebrate as well."_

"_We don't need any reasons to celebrate more than love."_

"_Cheesy and corny."_

_She quickly kissed his luscious lips before opening the door._


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Derek I need to talk to you"

"Derek I found something I need to tell you about"

"Derek I have something for you"

Derek looked at the three people in front of him and didn't want to do anything. He shook his head slowly and looked up at Addison.

"Addison, I need to talk to you after I've spoken with my mother. I'll call you."

He turned to Mark.

"And I'll talk to you later."

"Mum, I want to get out of here. Do you want to come?"

"Derek, don't be rude to Addison and Mark. Why don't we all meet for dinner at eight? There must be some good places around here."

"Derek, we can meet at Le Coure."

"Sounds nice"

Mrs. Shepherd quipped in before Derek had a chance to respond.

* * *

Ms. Donatella Montenassi arrived to Roseville Nursing Home in the early evening. She asked for Dr Grey and was shown into a beautiful living room where the fireplace was the focal point. Dr Grey was sitting looking out into a lush garden. She had been told that Dr Grey would be sun downing but she could have a talk and they had given her a sealed envelope with her name on.

"Dr Grey?"

"Is my patient ready?"

"I'm sorry but I am not a doctor."

"Who are you?"

"I'm your lawyer Dr Grey."

"What do you want? I have no malpractice."

"It is about your daughter Meredith. You asked me to come."

"What did she do? Shoplifting or drunk driving?"

"Neither Dr Grey… she is dead?"

"No she isn't."

"She died four years ago in a car accident."

"No she didn't."

Ellis suddenly looked up from her hands were she had been spinning her wristwatch around her arm. Her back sagged a little and she looked old. Tears trickled down her cheek but she looked alert but sad at Donatella.

"I did something I'm not proud of but I need your help and she needs your help."

"What can I do?"

Donatella felt something like fear trickling down her spine. She sat up straighter. Dr Grey seemed to be with her at the moment. What had Dr Grey done to her daughter?

"It is all in the envelope. I wrote everything down four years ago… Now where is my intern? I have a surgery to prepare for."

Donatella looked at Dr Grey and had difficulty to comprehend the quick change in her manner from alert to confuse. She had almost been able to see the change in Dr Grey's manner. The spine had straightened up again and her face looked younger but harder and the eyes looked at something Donatella couldn't see. Donatella took the envelope after bidding Dr Grey good night and left for her hotel. The envelope she carried in her large briefcase with the intention to in her room.

* * *

"Derek I know about the ring."

"What ring?"

"The engagement ring… I'm happy that you want to move forward… that you want to build a family. I really do want some grandchildren carrying our family name."

Derek looked at her with an open mouth… he didn't know how to respond to that… he didn't know where to begin.

"Mum, I'm not going to propose to Addison."

"That's not why you asked me here?"

"No… I need a woman's point of view and since I can't have Meredith's I want yours. Your opinion is the only one I trust. You always listen and tell me the truth."

"Thank you my son."

Derek looked out over the water standing in the spot that Meredith loved on the ferryboats.

"I've been thinking to cut Addison off. I don't love her but I'm afraid that I will never love anyone as I loved Meredith, maybe I don't deserve to love like that again but it feels like I'm cheating on Mer. I want the future you want with children of mine and to see my baby in your arms would be the best of things but…"

Derek broke down into sob. Carolyn wrapped her arms around him and pulled him along to bench a few feet away.

"When you were younger and smaller I could hold you in my lap to comfort you. Now this will have to do."

She wrapped her arms around him and pushed his head down on her shoulder. He sniffled and rose up pulling his mother onto his lap.

"Let's do it the other way around"

He leaned his head against her shoulder again and just sat there hugging his mother smelling her familiar scent. After a while he looked up at his mum again.

"Thank you mum"

"For what?"

"For being here."

"I love you. What is it you want my opinion on?"

"Should I stay with Addison and have a family with someone I don't love or look for someone else?"

"Would you be happy with her in ten years?"

"I don't know… maybe I can be."

"Does she listen to you? Do you talk and share the same interests?"

He thought for a while before shaking his head.

"Are there someone else that caught your eye?"

He thought again before nodding this time.

"Then you shouldn't move forward with Addison. She is a nice girl but seems a little too high maintenance for you."

"So your opinion is that I should break it off?"

"Yes but how the two of you can be on so different tracks I don't understand. You thinking of breaking up, her thinking about engagement and a new job for the both of you?"

"New job? I'm not looking for a new job."

"Another thing you are not talking about. I wonder why she believes you have a ring and are going to propose?"

"So do I. I only bought one engagement ring in my life and it is this one."

He pulls the tiny box out from his pocket and opens the lid. Carolyn gasps and tears trickle down her cheek. With a very similar adorned left hand she strokes his cheek.

"You bought one that is similar to mine."

"Yeah, it is the one that would fit Meredith perfectly."

Carolyn looked suspiciously at him.

"Do you always carry this around? Look at it a lot?"

"No, just a couple of days. Dr Grayson, a new fellow in neuro, reminds me of Meredith and one night I took the ring out andI have kept it in my pocket since."

"Is it possible that Addison has seen it or someone else?"

"Mark knows but no one else. I usually take it out when I'm alone in the trailer or in my…office"

He trailed off remembering the day before when Dr Torres came in. Carolyn could read his face and saw that he realized something.

"I need to talk to Addison."

"Yes you do. I can take Mark out for dinner and you can talk to Addison."

"Yeah, I can dine her one last time."

The ferryboat was almost back in Seattle and they stepped off going to the restaurant.

* * *

"Where are your mother and Mark?"

Addison asked when she arrived fifteen minutes late dressed in her very best dress and hair and makeup flawless. She looked hot and sexy... and cold and hard. He studied her as she walked to the table where he was waiting.

"It is just you and me tonight, Addison."

"Oh"

She looked at him with a knowing smile and sat down gracefully as he pushed her chair in. He looked nervous but she guessed that came with the seriousness of the question he was going to ask her.

"Addison…"

He trailed off and she looked at him encouragingly.

"Yes Derek"

"Let's order."

* * *

Ms Donatella Montenassi is sitting in her hotel room with a large vodka on the rocks in her hand rereading the file she got from Dr Grey. She doesn't know what to do.

* * *

"This is nice mum, but why aren't we eating with Derek and Addison?"

"Because he has something to tell her and they don't need witnesses."

"Is he popping the question?"

"What question?"

"Marriage… we have to stop him mum… he can't marry her. Not now."

"Why not now?"

"Because I believe that Meredith is alive."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Addison was getting more and more irritated. Why didn't he pop the question? She sat as on needles. The first and second course was finished and now they almost finished the dessert. Well he had since the calories were out of the question. She had to take an extra hour at the gym the next day to get rid of them but it would be worth it. She had to fit into the wedding dress of her dreams. Finally he put the spoon down and reached for her hand.

"Addison…"

"Yes"

She looked at him with an expectantly smile and he took a deep breath before continuing.

"Addison… we have spent a lot of time together and we hit it off. I have loved that but now I have to look forward and I want…"

"Yes"

* * *

Ms Donatella Montenassi looked through the papers one last time before looking at the time. It was past midnight on the east coast but she really wanted advice from a very good friend of hers that worked at the prosecutor's office in Boston. She grabbed the phone and waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Donna… it's two in the morning… do I need to bail you out?"

"Sorry Ned but I'm in Seattle and need some urgent advice and a name of a judge out here."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing but my client did."

"Tell me"

"I'm sorry but I can't but it contains fraud and someone has been deceived very badly."

"Who?"

"The daughter of my client."

"Isn't it Dr Grey that is your client in Seattle and her daughter is dead."

"Yeah, but I still need a judge and I can't tell you more at this time."

"Try Judge Ellsworth he is fair and will listen before talking."

"Thank you Ned."

"I miss you Donna"

"I miss you too and I will be out of town for a couple of days. Until this is solved I have to stay here and go to LA I guess."

"What are you wearing?"

"What?"

"SinceI can't have you and you woke me up I want phone sex so tell me what are you wearing?"

* * *

Mark pulled up a file from his bag and opened it. They were sitting in a corner booth at a nice steakhouse and no one he knew was around.

"Mum, I'm going to show you these pictures and you have to listen to the story. Please tell me afterwards if I should tell Derek or wait until I know more.

"Ok"

"Here is a picture I've made from the CT-scans of one of my patients… I put the scans in a program I use when I want to show my patients… how a new nose or chin will look on them. This time I did it backwards… I began with the scans and made the face… We got a patient a couple of weeks ago that had been hit in her head. The problem was that she needed a new titanium plate put over a previous trauma to that part of her head. I made the plate and Derek removed a large clot from her brain… The patient suffers from long term amnesia… since the previous head trauma four years ago… She has no memory of anything before the accident… and no relatives. She is all alone… She works at the hospital as a neuro fellow… Derek has since he met her been having nightmares about the accident and talks a lot about Meredith since Dr Grayson is very similar to Meredith… She got her coloring and petit built… We tried because of her previous head trauma… to get a hold of Dr Grayson medical file… but it is sealed and not even Dr Grayson can get it out… I made an internet search for Meredith Grey's death certificate… in both Boston, LA and Seattle… since this is where she was born. I can't find anything, not a trace... There is more though… Dr Ellis Grey's maiden name was Grayson… and Dr Grayson's first name is Elisabeth but she is called Lisa… both Meredith and Ellis are named Elisabeth as Ellis is a short version… Last evidence is this… that I've stolen from Derek's picture stack he keeps in his desk and made a copy from."

He pulls the last paper out of the file and Carolyn begins to cry. It is a picture of the same woman Mark has built in his computer.

"Mum?"

"She didn't die? Dr Grey lied to me the day after the accident?"

"That is my guess."

"Derek was going to propose to her, did you know?"

"Yeah he told me."

"Did you do this picture with her in your mind?"

"No, I let the program run possibilities and got ten images from her bone structure and this was the seventh one that came up. I've only seen Meredith a few times but when I saw this I sneaked into Derek's office and stole the picture. I had to make sure my mind didn't fool me."

"Does she know?"

"No… she has a lot of dreams… she is living with Lexie… who is her half-sister if I'm correct… and she told me."

"Who is Lexie? Well you will have to explain yourself later continue please."

"Lisa is living in Dr Grey's old house. The house where Meredith lived until she was five and her father left her and Ellis."

"You have to talk to her first. I want to meet her."

"I due time mum."

"No, I really want to meet her now."

" Mum"

"Mark"

"Ok, I'll bring you there tomorrow. It is late and she is probably sleeping. She will have a surgery tomorrow with Derek. They are doing a Grey-Shepherd Method."

"I can meet her afterwards."

"That might work as I am her designated driver after her daily session with Dr Wyatt."

"And I truly believe you should wait until you have spoken to Lisa before talking to Derek."

"Ok"

"Ok, then that is settled, now tell me all about this Lexie girl that makes you blush."

* * *

"_Meredith… get your cute ass out the door. We have a long drive ahead of us."_

_She runs for the car and jumps in before he has the chance to stop her. He locks their apartment and gets behind the wheel. They are almost there when she asks._

"_How much longer?" Meredith is fiddling with her wristwatch as she always does when she is nervous._

"_Less than 30 minutes" Derek answers._

"_Stop fiddling, they'll love you. All of them will. Remember that you are the love of my life and I will always be there for you."_

_The car gets bumped from behind and she feels the car jump into the oncoming lane. The car that hits her door is blue, dark blue. That is the last thing she remembers before impact._

* * *

"Addison… I'm breaking up with you."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"You are what?"

"I'm breaking up with you."

Splash – a glass of white wine is thrown at him. She stands up, leans over the table and says slowly into his face.

"No way"

"It is over Addison."

"No"

Another glass of wine is thrown at him, his this time. As Addison walks out the door he wipes his face and their waiter is quick to arrive with more napkins. Derek grabs the offered ones dabbing his soaked shirt and asks for the check. This is the last time he eats here and pays for it. If someone invites him to this frogcooking, small portion, fancy restaurant he might even ask for a rain check. He feels relief when thinking it is over between him and Addison. The whole dinner he analyzed his and Addison's relationship and he didn't understand what he saw in her except her hot body. She only spoke about herself and her things and never once listens to him. Not even when he broke up with her. He sends Mark a quick text from the car and asks him to tell mum good night and he'll meet them for lunch at the hospital.

* * *

The sun is not even up when Lisa wakes up feeling strange. She tries to remember her dream. There had been at least two different once. The first one about something job related and the second one about… a car accident? Downstairs in the kitchen she grabbed a travel cup and filled it with coffee. Alex came in through the back door dressed in shorts and a tank top, sweat dripping down his forehead. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and stretched his legs on the counter.

"Stop being a freak, Alex."

"What? Why don't you work out?"

"I get enough of running done in the hospital."

"You could use some muscles on that tiny body of yours."

"I could take you down anytime. Don't make me."

Alex sneaks up behind her and grabs her around her waist and throwing her over his shoulder he starts tickling her mercilessly.

"Put me down"

"Make me"

She slaps his back with no result until she get a hold of his shorts pulling at the waistline she managed to pull them down a bit just as Izzy enters the kitchen.

"What are you doing? Put her down Alex and I like your butt but please pull your shorts up."

Alex puts Lisa down red in his face. Lisa is still giggling and out of breaths.

"Cute butt Alex."

"Lisa, I'm going early, want to come and leave the nerds here?"

Izzy grabs a coffee to go as well, kisses Alex and grabs his ass at the same time.

"Your butt is mine and mine alone to admire. Keep your pants on lover boy."

* * *

Mark is coming back from an early meeting with Dr Wyatt when he meets Derek in the elevator. Dr Wyatt had asked him to keep his suspicion to himself and wait for Lisa's memory to return on her own. His job was to be ready for when or if it happeneds.

"How did it go yesterday?"

"I got two glasses of wine over me but we are over."

"Now you can be my wingman again."

"You don't need any… you're taken."

"Yeah… but I can be yours."

"Whatever"

"You should go after Dr Grayson"

"I'm her boss"

"You're her mother, her daughter, her sister"

"I can't sexually harass my neurostaff."

"Sure you can and she is hot."

"You already have a girl. Keep your eyes off her."

"Oh touchy"

"Shut it Markie"

The elevator stopped at their floor and they proceeded to their offices.

* * *

Lisa was preparing for her first Grey-Shepherd Method in the research room. She had spoken to the patient and the family and she felt comfortable with the procedure. Together with Dr Mohr she had practiced injecting the virus. In the scrub room the nerves began fluttering. She was looking at the staff preparing the room and the patient was wheeled in when the door burst open and scared her enough to drop the soap. She grabbed a new one and started over as Dr Shepherd stepped up to the sink tying his scrub cap on, a cap printed with fishes.

"Why don't you wear you ferryboat scrub cap?"

"What, I'm not?"

He takes the cap off and looks at it confused.

"I could have sworn that this was my ferryboat cap."

He turns and checks the pockets of his lab coat that he hung on the peg by the door. After checking he pulls the ferryboat cap out.

"Thank you, this is my lucky cap that I've used for my very first solo surgery and all of these procedures.

"I know…"

Lisa looks down confused. Did she really know that? Why did she say that? Derek seemed to be doing some mental preparing of his own. The two surgeons finish scrubbing in and enter the OR together to be dressed in gowns. gloves and masks.

* * *

Ms. Montenassi is waiting for Judge Ellsworth to finish his first trial of the day. His PA has squeezed her in between two cases. She is rereading the file again when the door to the court room is thrown open and people file out. She sits waiting until the last person is out before entering the room.

"I'm sorry but the court is not in session."

"Excuse me Judge Ellsworth but your PA scheduled me in between."

The door opened and a tall man entered the room from behind.

"Yes I did, you must be Ms. Montenassi from a Boston law firm, and I'm Carl Adams. This is Judge Ellsworth. Judge, Ms. Montenassi has an urgent matter that she needs your help with."

"Ok, what is so important that a lawyer from Boston takes her time to visit an old grump like me?"

"Excuse me Mr. Adams but I need to speak with Judge Ellsworth alone."

"It's fine. Why don't you follow the Judge to his chambers and I'll work on our next case. You have fifteen minutes."

"Thank you Charles."

Donatella follows the Judge to the room behind his court room. Well in there he shreds his robe and sits down in his desk chair dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. Donatella sits in the visiting chair.

"My client has done something unforgivable towards her daughter. She had deceived her for the last four years. Now my client is in need of her daughter due to mental illness, advanced early onset Alzheimer."

"How can she tell you anything then?"

"She wrote down what she did and I received the file yesterday evening."

"Why the secret treatment?"

"My client was a high profile surgeon with a medical procedure named after her. Her daughter is a doctor as well."

She hands the Judge the file and he reads it twice turning pale.

"I have to consider this for a while. Mr. Adams will contact you later with my decision."

"May I have the file back please?"

"No"

* * *

"Dr Webber speaking, what can I do for you today Judge?"

"Richard, I need to see you. Are you free for lunch?"

"I can be"

"Fine, meet me at the diner across from the court at one. I have a tight schedule and it is getting even tighter as we speak. Clear your afternoon."

Richard looks at the phone before hanging up. He and the Judge have been friends since they shared a room at college.

* * *

Mark was in the gallery watching Derek and Lisa. Lisa was standing back watching the preparations being done. Derek was overseeing the resident going to monitor the patient.

"Ok, it's a beautiful day to save a life, let's have some fun."

He looked at Lisa with a jolt in his stomach and asked her

"Are you up for showing off how to open Dr Grayson?"

Lisa looked around the room feeling the pressure from the staff but she took a deep breath. Some time had to be the first and it might as well today. She looked up into the familiar blue eyes of Dr Shepherd… familiar why did she think that? She let her breath out, looked around the room before saying.

"Ok, let's focus everyone and make this a perfect day, I want my instruments in my left hand please, ten blade."

Derek looked at her stunned… it was four years since he heard that line following his. Focus Shep, it is not Mer it is Lisa. His eyes grew larger when she flipped the scalpel from her left to her right hand in a swift movement before reaching for the tweezers. What the hell was going on? Was he being spunked? She was too much like Mer for his comfort. Lisa began cutting and he watched her well practice movement and her asking for the drill. A short moment later they had three perfect drill holes and she took a step back.

"I haven't done the next part before Dr Shepherd. Do you want to continue?"

He looked at her and she looked like Meredith with only her eyes showing. He felt numb and realized that he wasn't able to take over. His hands were shaking and his breath irregular.

"Go on Dr Gray…son"

Lisa continued as practiced in the skill lab and inserted the isolating fluid completely focused on her work. Then two catheters were inserted into the tumor and she turned again to him.

"We are ready to inject the virus Dr Shepherd."

"Stats"

Derek barked out feeling uncomfortable.

"Everything within normal range doctor"

Lisa handed him a syringe and took the other one herself.

"On three, we are to reach one hundred at the same time."

They began but Lisa was a little faster than Derek.

"Slow down Dr Grayson. Don't look at the display look at me look into my eyes."

Lisa looked up into his eyes and their gaze locked. She felt like she was struck with a hammer. A small gasped escaped her as they finished in sync. Dr Shepherd's eyes were the same as those in her bar dream, when she wore the pink wig.

"Dr Shepherd, one hundred percent are in, patient is stable."

The words uttered by the resident broke the spell. Lisa dropped the syringe and stepped back shaking her head. She looked around the room feeling all the eyes on her and she bolted.

Derek wanted to follow her. The person looking into his eyes was Meredith, his Meredith. How did that work? He had to speak with her but he had an open brain on the table. After locking his heart and mentally focusing on the task of closing the patient he finished. As soon as the patient was ready to go to post-op he ran. He had to get to her.

Mark saw how Lisa ran and almost fell down the steps to catch her. When he turned the corridor he saw her scrub cap turning the other end of the hall.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Dr Webber walked into the diner across from the courthouse. His old friend Judge Ellsworth was already seated in the far back corner looking through the menu.

"Judge"

"Doctor"

The two men sat down and ordered their lunch. Both of them looking longingly at the deep fried section but settling for soup and a roll.

"What do you have on your heart Judge?"

"I got a lawyer from Boston visiting me this morning."

"And?"

"She has a rather interesting case concerning a mutual friend of us."

"Who?"

"Ellis"

"Ellis? What has she done? Malpractice?"

"No, a lot worse and it might backfire on you and Seattle Grace."

"How, she is working in Boston I believe. I haven't heard anything from her since before Meredith died."

"That's the thing."

"What, did she quit because of Meredith's death?"

"No she didn't since she knows that Meredith isn't dead."

"What?"

"The lawyer today Ms. Montenassi presented me a file asking for medical records and legal files of a Dr Elizabeth Grayson being opened."

"Oh no… she didn't… did she… why?"

Richard looks at his friend with tears in his eyes and continued.

"Dr Grayson had a tragic accident when some car thieves stole her car and hit her in her head in the same spot where she has a titanium plate since a previous head trauma. My head of Plastics wanted to have a look on her old scans but we couldn't get a hold of them."

"No surprise there, Ellis got them sealed as tightly as if she was in witness protection. She got Judge Kennedy to help her."

"Oh he always did whatever Ellis wanted him to do."

The two men continue eating while digesting the information.

"Why did she do it and why does the lawyer want to reopen the files?"

"Ellis got advanced early onset Alzheimer, she is in a nursing home here in Seattle and she needs to sign off everything to her daughter."

"Here, where?"

"Roseville"

"A good place"

"Yeah"

They ate in silence again.

"Will you open the file?"

"Yes, Meredith needs to know."

"She has amnesia."

"Yeah, it says so in the file."

"How do we tell her?"

"I don't know, I was hoping that you could advice on that."

"I'll ask my Head of Neurology Dr Shepherd."

"Dr Shepherd? Dr Derek Shepherd?"

"Yes, why?"

" You can't, he was her boyfriend and the reason Ellis did all of this. He believes she is dead."

* * *

Derek ran from the scrub room looking for Meredith everywhere. He checked the on-call rooms and the lounge. He asked the nurses and doctors he past. They all looked at him as he was crazy. He really needed to talk to her. He longed to lose himself in her blue-green eyes. He wanted to know … she had amnesia… damn. On his way past Dr Webber's assistant Patricia he was asked to wait.

"Dr Shepherd, Mr. Jenkins wants to speak with you."

"Not now Patricia"

"Yes now, he is quite upset and angry."

"Why?"

"Why are you leaving?"

"I'm looking for Dr Grayson."

"No not that, he wants to know why you are resigning."

"Resigning? I'm not resigning I'm trying to find Me... Dr Grayson. What do you mean?"

"He wants to speak with you and here he comes in person."

Derek looked at the Head of the Hospital Board walking towards him with a scowl on his face.

"Patricia, is Dr Webber in yet?"

"No sir, I'll expect him back within the hour though he has cleared his schedule for the afternoon. I don't know why."

"We'll use his office while we wait."

He turned towards Derek that looked at him clearly confused.

"I'm sorry sir but I have an urgent business to take care off. I have to find one of my staff members that ran out of surgery."

"No this is more pressing. Patricia can help you. Patricia can you please have…"

He looked at Derek with a question in his eyes.

"Dr Grayson"

"Can you please have Dr Grayson paged?"

"Yes sir."

* * *

Mark reached Lisa as she reached the ground level in the stairwell.

"Lisa… stop… I need you to stop."

She shook her head only mumbling incomprehensive sentences when Mark grabbed her arm to stop her by force.

"Lisa, you need to see Dr Wyatt. She can help you."

"No one can."

"She can and I will also help you."

"No"

"Yes"

He walked her towards the far off elevators. In Dr Wyatt's waiting room he stopped shortly and asked for Dr Wyatt to come out.

"Dr Wyatt, Dr Grayson needs you now."

"No I don't need anyone."

"Lisa"

"No"

"No what?"

"I'm not Lisa"

"Then who are you?"

"I don't know"

* * *

Dr Webber left his friend and decided to make a visit to Roseville Nursing Home. In the reception he asked for Dr Ellis Grey.

"She is in the sun room but she is not having a good day."

He followed the directions for the sun room. Inside the door he stopped and looked at his old friend. She sat in an armchair reading a medical journal.

"Ellis?"

She looked up and saw him... a confused look showing on her face.

"What are you doing here Richard?"

"I came to see how you are."

"I'm fine."

"No you are not if you were you wouldn't be here."

"Of course I am. I'm preparing for a bowel resurrection in an hour. What do you have on the board?"

"On the board, what board?"

"The surgical board of course."

"Oh, I cleared my afternoon."

"You did? Then why are you still here?"

Richard looked at her. She looked as she did ten years ago, nothing in her looks made an on looker to believe that she was sick. It was what she spoke about that made it scary.

"I wanted to talk to you about Meredith.

"What has she done now?"

"Nothing"

"Then why are you talking about her?"

"What did you to her?"

She suddenly looked sad and filled with remorse.

"I did her wrong Richard. I abandon her when she was hurt. I thought it was the best for her. I miss her."

She begins crying and Richard wraps his arm around and she hides her face in his shoulder.

"I need to know, what name did you give her after the accident?"

"My family name but I kept her middle name."

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes"

"I know her. She is a talented surgeon Ellis. Meredith is a talented surgeon."

"Meredith will never be a surgeon. She is too much into boys. She has no focus. She is ordinary"

"She is extra ordinary Ellis."

"I hope she will be, but first she has to finish high school."

Richard looked at her confused and saw that the lucid Ellis had disappeared.

"Ellis, I'll come back another time."

"I don't have time I have a surgery."

He kissed her soft cheek and left, a look over his shoulder showed Ellis in her armchair reading her journal and scribbling in the marginal.

* * *

"Now Dr Shepherd, tell me why you are resigning."

"I'm not resigning."

"I got your resignation about an hour ago on my desk."


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

"Montenassi speaking"

"This is Carl Adams Judge Ellsworth's PA"

"Oh, hello Mr. Adams."

"Please call me Charles."

"Ok Charles, did the judge come to a decision?"

"Yes, you can come by anytime this afternoon. He has signed the papers for opening the file you asked for."

"That is great news. I'll be there in half an hour."

"Just come into the courtroom and I'll slip you the envelope with the file."

"You got it for me?"

"Yes, Judge Ellsworth said so."

"Great thank you and see you in a while."

* * *

Dr Wyatt had taken Lisa into her office and wrapped her into a blanket and her secretary had brought them both a cup of tea. Now they were sitting in silence.

"Can you tell me what happened today in the OR?"

"Nothing happened"

"Tell me Lisa"

"I'm not Lisa"

"Then tell me who you are."

"I'm no one."

"You are someone. You are a talented surgeon, a great friend and co-worker."

"Maybe, but that is not who I am."

"It is part of you."

"Not a very important part… who am I?"

"Can you please tell me what got you this upset? Is it something you remembered?"

"His eyes"

"Who's eyes?"

"Dr Shepherd's eyes. He looked at me and I felt that he knew me. That he saw me and knew who I am… I felt like I've been in surgery with him before… I knew that he always wears a scrub cap with ferryboats on… it is his lucky cap… I knew all of his presurgery quirks… I know how he kisses… he is the one in my dreams."

"You said you weren't Lisa then what is your name?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty sure it is not Elizabeth Grayson."

The secretary knocked on the door and opened it after Dr Wyatt responded.

"Dr Webber wants to talk to you and it is urgent."

Dr Wyatt looked at Lisa and saw how tired she was.

"I want you to close your eyes for a minute while I talk to Dr Webber. I'll be right back."

* * *

Derek was pacing the office of Dr Webber raking his hand through his hair until it stood straight up. Jenkins was sitting behind desk looking at the distressed doctor who talked to himself. Derek suddenly stopped and turned to the Head of the Board.

"As you can probably tell all this is news to me."

"So you are not resigning?"

"Of course not!"

Dr Webber stepped into the office.

"Oh, hello, what are you doing here? Have I missed a meeting?"

"No, but you want to be in on this one you and I want to hear Dr Shepherd's explanation."

Richard took a seat beside Derek who had finally sat down.

"I came here because I got Dr Shepherds resignation on my desk a little more than an hour ago."

"What?"

Richard turned and stared at his Head of Neurology.

"Don't look at me. I didn't write it. I don't know anything about it. I was looking for Dr Grayson that ran out my OR a little while ago."

"Your not resigning?"

"No"

"Good then this is settled. I have other more urgent problems if you are not resigning."

"Fine can I go?"

"Yes, but you stay Jenkins. I need to inform you about another matter."

* * *

"Mark"

Carolyn sat at a table in the cafeteria when Mark stepped in.

"Hi mum"

"You look stressed, having a bad day?"

"No, but something happened in the OR a little while ago and Lisa ran out of the OR. "

"What happened?"

"I really don't know but my guess is that something triggered her memory. When I got to her she was almost in shock and I took her to Dr Wyatt."

"That was a good thing to do. Now let's get some food and we can begin eating and you can tell me everything. We never know when Derek will join us."

* * *

"I need to speak with Dr Webber."

Donatella Montenassi was standing in front of Patricia's desk.

"I'm sorry but he is in another meeting. Do you have an appointment?"

"No, I just need to talk to him in regards of a Dr Grayson."

When she spoke the last the door to the office opened and Richard heard the last part.

"Dr Grayson is not here at the moment. I'm the Chief of Surgery Richard Webber. Can I be of any help?"

"My name is Donatella Montenassi and I represent Dr Ellis Grey. I'm sorry to be here without an appointment and it is a personal matter and not work related but my instructions are to speak with you."

"Please step in to my office."

He turned to Jenkins and bid him good bye and promised to update him as soon as possible.

* * *

Derek saw Mark and his mother in the cafeteria and went to sit down with them.

"Mark have you seen Lisa?"

"Yes, she is with Dr Wyatt."

"Oh… ok… I see"

He looked down on his folded hands when he felt his mother's hand reaching for his.

"Everything will be ok sweetheart."

"How do you know that?"

"I just believe."

He looked at his mother and saw only love in her eyes.

"Thank you mum."

The sound of clicking heals was heard closing in to the table and Derek looked up and saw Addison. She smiled convincingly when stepping up to the table kissing his cheek before sitting down in the empty chair beside him. Derek looked at her stunned by her action.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I have the day off and thought I should have lunch with you."

* * *

Dr Webber motioned to Dr Wyatt to follow him into his office where he introduced her to Donatella Montenassi. They sat down and Donna began

"I'm representing Dr Grey, Ellis Grey."

"Excuse me Ms. Montenassi but I think I know where this is going and I want one more doctor in here."

"Who and how can you even know what we will talk about?"

Dr Webber asked curious.

"I want Dr Sloan to join us because he presented me with some materials he figured out during the last couple of days."

"Ok, I'll page him."

"I'll just be checking on my patient."

* * *

Mark looked down at his pager and stood up in a hurry.

"I'll have to take this. I see you later mum."

She looked at him and she understood what happened or at least to whom he was paged.

"You go and do your job. I and Derek will have a chat with Addison."

* * *

Mark ran into the room with a bang.

"What happened, does she remember, should I get Derek?"

He stopped when he saw Dr Webber and a pretty woman unknown to him sitting with Dr Wyatt at a table.

"This Ms. Montenassi is our Head of Plastics Dr Mark Sloan."

The two shook hands and he took a seat.

"How is she?"

"She is sleeping, don't worry."

"As I said before I'm here representing Dr Ellis Grey."

"Why are you here and not her?"

Mark looked at Donatella with a growl on his face.

"Dr Grey has advance early onset Alzheimer and is living in a nursing home."

"What does she want?"

"Meredith Elizabeth Grayson Grey is Dr Ellis Grey's daughter..."

The three doctors looked at each other as Ms- Montenassi continued explaining her case.

* * *

"_I have four sisters, four very annoying sisters… nine nieces and five nephews… my mother's maiden name is Maloney… I like coffee ice cream and single malt whiskey… favourite book the sun also rises... I fly fish with my best friend Mark who I consider my brother since we met in preschool."_

_He turned and looked at her. The wind blew his perfect hair in a way that made her want to run her hand through it. The ferryboat let out a signal when meeting a sister ship. His eyes sparkled and he tilted his head when he smiled at her. Leaning against the railing he was the most handsome man she ever seen and he wanted her. She slowly smiled back before reaching for his hand pulling him towards her. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck. Blowing into her ear he sent goose bumps along her spine making her moan._

"_I'm beginning to fall for you Mer."_

* * *

"Mrs. Shepherd would you mind if I spoke with Derek alone for a minute?"

"Of course not, I'll just go and get us some coffee."

"Thank you I'll take it black and so does Derek."

Mrs. Shepherd left the table and Derek looked at Addison.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I never got a chance yesterday to tell you about LA and our new jobs. We start Monday in four weeks. That should give us enough time to pack up our stuff and find a new place. Sam and Naomi are already house and apartment hunting for us."

"You… you are the one that wrote my resignation and handed it to Jenkins? I broke up with you yesterday. Don't you remember or have you gone mental? I'm not resigning from SGH and moving to LA. I don't want to work at a private practise."

"Oh… so you won't be a father to our child? You will leave me a single parent?"


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

"You're pregnant? How?"

"As a doctor you should know how."

Derek leans back in his chair and closes his eyes. What on earth should he do now? He can't abandon a baby but he really doesn't want to marry Addison. His mother returns with a tray of coffee. The three of them reach for a cup. Derek is sitting in silence contemplating his options. It is not until Addison puts her cup down he realize what she has done.

* * *

"Ok, so we have a plan of action that we all support?"

Richard looked at Ms. Montenassi, Drs Wyatt and Sloan. All of them looked at him and nodded.

"I'll go and see if she is awake."

"Page us if you want us to come."

"Yes Dr Webber."

* * *

Lisa was waking up feeling disorientated. She slowly looked around the room first not seeing anyone. A sound from the corner makes her turn her head and she sees Dr Wyatt reading and writing in a file. When she stretches her back and arms Dr Wyatt turns and looks at her with a smile.

"Sleeping well?"

"What time is it?"

"Two pm."

"Oh, I'm sorry I've kept you from seeing your patients."

"No, you haven't, I have the rest of the day to do what I chose and I got some overdue paperwork done.."

She walks over to her armchair and sits down. Lisa sits up pushing her hair from her face.

"Are you feeling better?"

Lisa looks at her hands. She doesn't really know what she is feeling so she slowly shakes her head and whispers.

"I don't know."

"Can you tell me what made you upset?"

Lisa closes her eyes and tries to remember. She is back in the OR and looking into Derek's eyes. Wait Derek's eyes she means Dr Shepherd's eyes. How come she thought of him as Derek? He is falling for...

"Lisa?"

Her head snaps up.

"My name is not Lisa... I'm... Mer"

* * *

Derek is pulling Addison along with him.

"Stop it Derek, you are hurting me."

He let's go of her instantly.

"Sorry I didn't mean to hurt you but we have to make sure that both you and the baby are doing ok."

"I'm fine. I don't need a check up. I'm an OB for god sake and Naomi is my doctor."

"I need you to do this now"

Derek insists continuing to pull her along"

Looking around on the maternity floor he spots Alex and nurse.

"I need a room and the assistants of the both of you."

"What's wrong?"

"It is nothing wrong but Addison is pregnant and I want to know that everything is ok."

"How far a long are you?"

"Not long and I don't need this"

Addison looks uncomfortable.

"Ok but let's check that everything is ok. Nurse take a blood sample and take history, please."

Alex orders the nurse and Derek watches as the nurse draws blood and labels it when he is paged to the pit.

"I will be back soon. Have me paged when the results are in."

* * *

"Can you please tell me what you remember up until know?"

"I know that Derek is or was an important person to me. We were on a ferry boat and he told me about himself. I know his mother's maiden name and how many children his four sisters has. I know that he was falling for me... and he called me... Mer."

"A lot of different things are happening at the same time. Today a lot of information has been brought together about you and your past from different sources. I know some parts and other people knows other parts. The first thing I want you to do is to leave a blood sample for DNA testing. Can you do that for me while I gather some things for us?"

Mer looks scare and Dr Wyatt can see her face harden and shoulders to square up as if she prepares herself for a fight.

"There is nothing to worry about and you will see how many people that care a lot about you."

"Ok... if you say so."

* * *

Derek was looking at scans that looks fine when Alex knocked on the door.

"Dr Shepherd, may a have word with you?"

"Sure, come in, but you know that you can call me Derek."

"I'm sorry Derek but I think you should know first hand."

"What is it?"

"First answer this question. When did Dr Montgomery tell you she was pregnant?"

"During lunch, why?"

"I took a look in her medical file while the nurse went to fetch the blood results and Dr Montgomery had a complete hysterectomy done three years ago, due to prevent cancer."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"I knew it when she drank coffee with no problem at all. What a bitch. I wonder how she thought she could get away with that in the long run?"

"Claim miscarriage after marriage?"

"Probably. Do me a favor Alex. Have a nurse telling her that I left with my mother. Can you do that?"

"Sure, but if you don't mind... I'll tell her."

Both of their pagers goes off indicating the chief's office.

"It will have to wait until the chief has said whatever he wants to tell us today."

* * *

In the chief's office along with Richard, Izzy, Lexie, George and Dr Wyatt was waiting as Derek, Alex and Mark arrived. Derek looked at Mark as he stepped up beside Richard.

"Please find yourself a seat. You will all need one."

The door was burst open and Cristina and Owen arrived.

"Everyone please take a seat."

Mark positioned himself close to Derek.

"When the chief is finished you are to stay here. Don't move and please don't say anything. This is the short version, you will get the longer one right after they all leave. You will have a lot of questions and they will if possible be answered."

"What?"

"Derek, please listen. You are all here as co-workers and friends"

The doctors all looked around the room at each other. Derek had a bad feeling in his gut. He was not going to like what he heard. Mark squeezed his shoulder.

"Remember what mum said at lunch."

Richard fiddled with his computer before projecting a white picture on the wall screen."I don't know how to do this so I'll just go right a head. Ask questions afterward please and respect the answer if we say that we can't answer."

Derek know knew that he wouldn't like what he was about to hear.

"Dr Grayson is as we all know is suffering from amnesia. I have today received information about her past. Her name is Dr Meredith Elisabeth Grayson Grey and she was in a traumatic car accident four years ago... Her mother, Dr Grey, had her flown to LA were she had multiple surgeries. Dr Carson changed her appearance on request from her mother... We know that she remembered earlier today that her name is Mer. We will inform her about all of this in a little while. Please be there for her but don't ask questions, let her tell you... I will now show you some before and after pictures that Dr Sloan has made for us."

The doctors all stared at the screen as Richard fiddled with his computer. The only sound is Derek breaking down. The doctors looked at the pictures stunned.

"Please, this is confidential at this time being. You are only informed because we and Meredith will need your help."

"Where is Lis... Meredith?"

Lexie asked looking worried.

"She is having some tests done to confirm her identity. If you Dr Grey can supply us with a blood sample it can be done quicker since you are her half sister."

Dr Wyatt pager goes off and she leaves the room. The rest of the doctors is standing to leave except Derek and Mark.

"Do remember that you can't discuss this outside this room yet and that she will need you to treat her as you did before but for a name change. Let her talk to you about it all."

They all leave but for Derek and Mark.

* * *

Dr Wyatt looks up as Meredith enters her room. Her heart reaches out to the vulnerable look she sees in her eyes.

"Oh, sit down and I will begin telling you everything I found out today."

"Ok"

"First, stop me when ever you need a break or have any questions or if you want someone to come... tell me and I'll page them."

"I have no one."

"That is were you are wrong. Listen and you will see."

"If you say so."

Meredith pulls her legs up to her chest, hugging them tightly.

"Let's start with your name."

"I've tried to figure out what Mer is short for but the only name I can guess is Miranda and that feels wrong."

"Your name is Meredith Elisabeth Grayson Grey and you are the daughter of Dr Ellis Grey."

Meredith looked at Dr Wyatt while remembering the movie night and her dreams.

"I dreamt about her after hearing her voice on the surgery tapes."

"You are her only child in her marriage with Thatcher Grey. They got divorced when you were five."

"He is good at making cookies."

She remembers the feeling of beeing loved.

"He remarried and lost contact with you because of your mother and your move to Boston. He has two daughters and Dr Lexie Grey is the oldest one. You have two sisters and your father is living here in Seattle."

Meredith is staring into the opposite wall and Dr Wyatt sits quiet for a while. Letting Meredith absorb the information.

"Where is my mother?"

"Her lawyer showed up today. She had your medical files unsealed on request from your mother. Your mother had help getting them sealed. Your mother suffers from early onset Alzheimer and is living in a nursing home here in Seattle."

"I have both a mother and a father and two sisters?"

"Yes you do. You are not alone."

"Yes I am, because they haven't been there for the last four years or more. They all left me alone."

* * *

"I need to see her..."

Derek was looking at Dr Webber with tears streaming down his face.

"You will but you need to know the whole story first. You can't see her until she wants to see you. She is very fragile right now."

"I know... but I love her... Why did Ellis do this to us? We were happy and I was going to propose... She is all alone... she has been alone for all this time."

"Derek I want you to read this letter written by Ellis four years ago. Her lawyer got it yesterday and gave me a copy earlier today."

Derek took the letter and began reading. The more he read the madder he became. Upon finishing the letter he was pacing the office muttering to himself.

* * *

"What did I look like before the accident?"

"Here are two pictures. This is a remodeling of you bone structure that Dr Sloan did yesterday in his computer when he began suspecting that you were Meredith. This is a copy of a picture Dr Shepherd had of you."

Meredith followed the shape of her chin, seeing it was wider before. She saw that her cheekbones were changed along with her nose. The eyebrows were straighter over her eyes. It was like looking at whole different person but still her. Her hair was the same color but reached below her shoulders with a slight curl. Her bangs could be put behind her ears. A mole had been removed from over her upper lip and the upper lip itself was smaller... thinner. The picture woke a memory of her face looking like that... Derek had this copy?... He still had pictures of her?... She remembered a dark blue car hitting the car she was in with Derek... They were going to celebrate Fourth of July with his family. She was to meet his family... Unconsiously she began twirling her wristwatch.

"I was in a car accident and not a motor bike accident, right?

"Yes, both you and Dr Shepherd were badly injured and hospitalized at different hospitals. You were brought to Boston General and you mother had you transferred to LA the next day. She told everyone that you died."

"So Derek was told that I was dead?"

"Yes, he mourned you for years but he or Dr Sloan can tell you more about that."

"Mark is his brother and best friend. He had him at least and his family."

Meredith's eyes began to water thinking about him receiving her death notice.

"I want to see my mother and ask her why."

"Here is a letter she wrote four years ago before she became ill in Alzheimer. We can take you to her and she needs you to sign some legal papers transfering funds to you. That is why her lawyer began searching for you on her part."

"So it is not because she misses me?"

"I don't know Meredith. Do you want to go today?"

"Ok, not today but maybe tomorrow. I want to go home now."

Meredith left the office and went straight for a cab.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Derek was on his way home after a very emotional day. He had learnt that Meredith had left the hospital alone a while ago and he wanted nothing more than see her, hug her and love her. She hadn't asked for him and he didn't know what to make of it.

"Derek, where are you going?"

Addison came running after him.

"Home"

"I'll come with you."

"No"

"But we need to plan the move to LA."

"You need to plan your move Dr Montgomery."

"But"

"Good bye Dr Montgomery and have a nice life."

"I love you"

She was yelling behind him as he got in his car leaving her behind. He wondered what was wrong with her. He broke up with her and she didn't really understand. It was like she was lacking something in her social skill. She was delusional. He saw in the rear mirror that she was standing in the parking lot yelling. Derek just wanted peace and serenity to think about Meredith and forget about the baby scare Addison put him through. He knew he could not just expect Meredith to fall into his arms but he wanted her to do it. He wished that she would remember them and come to him.

* * *

Addison hauls a cab from the line outside the hospital. She tells the driver to take her to the airport. Well inside the departure hall she realizes that all her things is in her apartment but she pulls her credit card out and buys a first class ticket on the next flight to LA. She is happy to leave the rain in Seattle and decides to find a movie star in California. He ought to be good looking and buy her all the pretty things she wants.

* * *

Meredith sat on the ferryboat. She had got on the first one arriving into the dock and she had stayed on it for the last couple of hours. It was her favorite spot and people came and left around her but she sat on the bench looking at the waves. Suddenly there is something in the air and she looks around. Standing a little bit at the side is a raven haired man... He is hunched over, his shoulders shaking as he cries. She slowly stands up. There is a force pulling her towards him and when she reaches him and puts her hand on his arm he jumps.

"Derek... please don't cry."

He turns and his eyes grow large realizing she is there. He has gone straight to his spot not looking at anyone. The only place he could think of away from his lake.

"Mer... oh Meredith... you're alive... I've missed you so much..."

He slowly raises his hand and strokes her cheek. The texture and feel is the right one. When she doesn't pull away he frames her face with both of his hands letting his thumbs caress her cheeks. His eyes lock with hers and all he sees is his Meredith. She was still there, her eyes was the window to her soul that he love so much. Her eyes were full of tears threatening to overflow. Why didn't he see her before? She is Meredith not Lisa.

"I'm sorry"

She whispers reaching up to feel his five a clock shadow adorning his cheeks.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"Leaving you alone."

"I'm the one that should be sorry. I was driving and I shouldn't have turned the wheels while we were waiting for the road to be free. Please don't hate me."

"It was an accident. I can't hate you but I'm mad at my mother most of all."

"I hate your mother... but I love you."

"You do?"

Her voice shows hope and fear at the same time.

"I will always love you. You are my light."

She remembers the flashlight he carries at work.

"I bought you that light."

"Yes but I got after you... died. It was in your locker with a note on."

"That sentence sounds strange since I'm not dead."

She giggles and he can't take it any longer but wraps her into his arms. Her body still fitting perfectly against his, his body has not forgotten her. He becomes instantly aroused. The scent of lavender engulfs him and her breast presses against the right spots as well as her hips. He moans when the feeling hits him and nuzzles his face into her short hair.

"Do you remember everything?"

"No but a lot. Every memory activates a new one. It is quite tiring."

"Meredith I just want to hold you like this. Can I do that?"

"Yes, but what will your girlfriend say?"

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, the redheaded doctor my roommates hate."

"I broke up with her yesterday. You have been on my mind the last couple of weeks and I realized that she was not the one. She couldn't push you out of my mind."

"You broke up because of me?"

She tries to take a step back but he holds her firmly in his arms.

"Yes, but not you, the memory of you have been haunting me and since I'm still in love with you I can't be with someone else."

He looks at her solemnly.

"You don't know me."

"Oh, yes I do. I know how you scrunch you nose waking up and I hope to see that a lot in the future. I know you love pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, especially cold the next morning. You are a horrible cook but makes excellent coffee. You eat more than me and you drink tequila as shots. You are the brain behind the Grey-Shepherd Method that I worked on to get over grieving for you. Your name connected to mine is the one thing I am most proud of. You twist your watch when you are nervous. Do I need to continue?"

"Please but not now. My head can't take anymore today."

"Do you have a headache, should I take you to the ER. Have you any pain meds with you?"

"Hold it. I don't take meds for head ache and it is all that happened today that made my head full."

"Oh"

He looks so relieved that Meredith giggles again. His eyes immediately focus on her lips.

"I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?"

She looks at him and can only nod as she gets caught in his gaze. Slowly he tilts his head and leans in taking his time before letting his lips slowly caress hers. Her eyes close in memory and she remembers, her whole body remembers him. They stay fused together until the ferryboat closes in on the harbor.

"Do you want to come home to my place? I live on this island."

She nods but she adds.

"No hokey pokey yet, I want to get to know me and you first."

"I would like if you stayed overnight just so I can hold you in my arms. I promise that my hands will be nice. Please, call your roommates and tell them you are with me."

"My roommates, I will have to tell them everything."

"Don't worry; they got a short version from Richard earlier today. You only have to tell them where you are so they won't worry and remember to answer when they call you Meredith."

She leaned her head on his shoulder and he kept one arm wrapped around her while they walk down to his car. His world was turning to the better.

* * *

Derek had had trouble falling asleep with Meredith by his side. They had arrived at his trailer with him feeling nervous. What if she hated his place? Stepping out of the car she had looked around.

"Where are we?"

"This land… I bought this land when I moved here after the accident. I spent a month drunk in our apartment before Mark pulled me out of the door literary… He took me to the hospital and I couldn't work there any longer. You were everywhere and everyone showed me pity. I resigned and Mark and I both transferred here. I didn't want an apartment and found this land. I've been thinking of building a house but for now I live in that trailer."

While walking side by side they had reached the field where the silver colored trailer was parked. Meredith looked at it and a beautiful smile grow on her face, lightning her feature and making her eyes sparkle. She had reached out for his hand and asked him to show her.

He had served her grilled fish and a salad that they ate while sneaking glances of each other. When he dropped his napkin she watched the muscles in his arm fletch when her reached down to pick it up. She watched him as he stole glimpses of her pale skin in her low cut sweater. They finished their meal without speaking.

"Well we should get to bed… do you mind sleeping in my bed with me or should I make up the sofa bed for me?"

She had reached out her hand and pulled him to the bed.

"Do you have a tee shirt I can use?"

"Sure"

He digged through his drawer and found her Dartmouth printed shirt. When she got it he saw her remembering it.

"You kept it?"

She whispered with tears in her eyes.

"It was the only thing that made it possible for me to sleep during the first month. Then my sister got it washed and I had to find something else."

"What?"

He opened the bathroom door and picked up a bottle of her conditioner.

"A drop of this on the pillow when newly washed did the trick."

He smiled sheepishly.

"Tonight I can have the real thing."

"I'll be right back"

Meredith returned shortly dressed in the tee shirt. She quickly slid under the covers on her side of the bed.

"Are you going to stand there or are you going to join me?"

It only took him seconds to change in the bath room to shorts and a tee shirt of his own. Well under the covers he pulled her towards him and she snuggled up into the crook of his neck. Her perfect pillow and the right place for his nose to get buried in her hair. She listened to his heart beat until her heart beat at the same rhythm before falling into an exhausted sleep.

Derek was awake. He was scared of falling asleep if all of the day was just a dream.

* * *

~MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE MATURE~

Meredith woke up feeling trapped. Something kept her pinned to the mattress and something poked her behind. Turning her head she saw Derek spooning her and his arm keeping her close. She slowly turned around to study his sleeping handsome features, the crooked nose, the long eye lashes and the hair standing in all directions. He hd a tiny scar on his forehead that she didn't recognize. It must be evidence from their accident. She slowly trace it with a finger. His lips curled into a beautiful smile and she leaned up kissing him as her tongue licking his lips asking for entrance which he granted with a soft moan his hands slowly caressing her back under her tee-shirt. Meredith let her own hands wander along his well tuned body, feeling all the familiar planes. Reaching across his shorts she felt his big member straining against the fabric. She looked at him and he looked like he was in pure bliss. Her hands got braver and she let her hand slowly stroke him over the fabric. His hip shot upwards into the caress. She let her fingers trail the waist band and when reaching the tip of his cock he moaned. She could feel the pre-cum and wanted more. Withdrawing her hand to try and get her tee-shirt off he suddenly moved and flipped her on her back, pinning her under him.

"Don't stop on my account"

He leaned in and kissed her deeply, their tongues dueling in a kiss that took their breath away.

"I wasn't… I was going to get my tee shirt off"

"Let me help you"

He smirked with a wicked glint in his sparkling blue eyes. His hands slowly slid up under her shirt cupping her breasts, stroking her nipples into hard buds. When that wasn't enough he pulled the shirt over her head before looking at her rising to his knees.

"Oh, you are so beautiful Mer"

She sat up and pulled at his shirt as well.

"I want to see you."

He quickly lost the offending garment.

"Shorts too"

His eyes looked with hers as his hands pushed his shorts down his hips and making his cock pop out, pointing proudly at her.

"You too"

He reached down and pulled her panties down admiring her body as he pulled them off her long legs. He leaned down kissing his way up her legs. Before lying down on her shivering body he looked at her eyes.

"Do you want to do this? We can wait…"

She grabbed his curls and pushed her hips up needing contact with him. He looked into her dark green eyes as he felt her moist folds surrounding the tip of his cock. Her lips parted in a moan as he slowly sank into her welcoming heat. Well deep inside he turned his head back and closed his eyes resting on his knees and arms just holding still enjoying her heat and their connection. She got inpatient and tried to move her hips.

"Stay still… please Mer"

She could feel him twisting inside of her and slowly squeezed her female muscles around him. It was all it took to throw them both over the edge. His hot seamen warm and pulsing inside of her made her orgasm. His head fell forward and she saw tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Oh Mer… I love you."

"I love you Der"

They stayed connected just enjoying the feel of the other. Meredith had tears in her eyes as well. She felt at home. After what seemed like hours they finally separated, both feeling empty and alone.

"You want to shower with me before work?"

Derek asked with a wink as the bedside alarm went off. She nodded shyly taking his hand. It didn't take long until the shower was steamier than ever and both of them moaning while remembering the bendy thing.


	26. Chapter 26

**Ten months later**

Derek is sitting in his own thoughts driving towards his family's summerhouse. Meredith is sitting in the seat next to him moving around nervously twirling her wristwatch around.

"Don't worry Mer, my sisters will love you."

"How can you be sure about that?"

"Because I love you and mum loves you."

"I love her back she was so good to me a year ago."

_

* * *

A car drove up to the trailer and Meredith looked at Derek to see if he knew who was coming. Mark and a grey haired woman stepped out. The lady almost ran to the trailer while Derek smiled apologetically at Meredith as whispering to her questionable eyes._

"_My mum"_

"_Oh"_

_He turned towards his mum and she wrapped her arms around him smiling with tears in her eyes._

"_I told you everything would be fine."_

_She looked at Derek's sparkling eyes and knew that it all was because he had the love of his life back._

"_You knew?"_

"_Yeah, Mark told me two days ago."_

_Derek turned towards Mark with a growl letting go of his mum._

"_You told mum before me?"_

"_Yeah, I needed advice about how to handle my suspicions. I didn't want to get your hopes up until I knew for sure or Meredith knew."_

"_Well it is in the past and thank you for all your hard work. I owe you whatever."_

"_Just name your first born after me."_

"_Ok"_

_Derek turned when hearing a soft gasp from Meredith and found his mother hugging her with tears streaming down her cheeks._

"_Oh Meredith, thank you for making my son happy again."_

* * *

"We all love you and she saw firsthand what losing you did to me. Of course she loves you when you came back to me."

"She was the best the day I we went to see and sign the legal papers with Ellis."

_

* * *

Meredith walked slowly up the stairs to the nursing home. Her knees felt wobbly and Derek had his arm firmly wrapped around her. Mrs. Shepherd was just behind talking to Dr Webber._

"_It will be alright"_

_Carolyn whispered to Meredith while the three of them waited for Richard to check them in and check that everything was ok with her mother._

"_You can all go in, she is in the sunroom along with Ms. Montenassi."_

"_Thank you"_

_Meredith slowly walked towards the door where her mother waited. She saw Richard walk in first and she followed with Derek at her side. _

"_Ellis, how are you today?"_

"_I'm fine Richard, just on my way to my surgery but the hospital lawyer told me I had to sign some papers."_

"_Ellis, Meredith is here."_

"_What, I don't want her to run around the hospital. Please have an intern to bring her down to the nursery."_

"_Ellis I need you to focus. Look at her."_

_Richard motioned Meredith forward and she finally locked eyes with her mother. Memories of the woman in front of her almost floored her. The eyes what just as she remembered hard and ruthless._

"_Mother?"_

"_What are you doing here Meredith? You should know better than disturb me at work. You are a disappointment. You are just so ordinary."_

_Derek growled when hearing the words leaving Ellis mouth and took a step forward. The letter he read were she so coldly described her decision to have Meredith undergo plastic surgery because it would be better for both her and Meredith had been boiling in his mind for days. Everything put together made him snap at the confused woman infront of him.  
_

"_You listen, Dr Grey and you listen good. Meredith is nothing but extra ordinary. She is a much better surgeon than you ever were and she is the most loving woman on the earth even though what you did to her and me."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_I'm Dr Derek Shepherd, Meredith's boyfriend."_

"_She is too young to have a boyfriend."_

"_Dr Grey"_

_Ms. Montenassi interrupted as she saw that Ellis needed to focus just a little more and sign the required documents. She spoke quietly with her client while Meredith was wrapped into the arms of Carolyn who whispered words of encouragement in Meredith's ears. They soon gathered to sign the papers but Ellis refused to acknowledge Meredith. She kept her head down as in shame. It was not until they left and Ms. Montenassi was still there she said to herself._

"_What did I do to my precious girl? I love you Meredith, please forgive me."_

* * *

"Yeah, I would probably have strangled Ellis if she hadn't been there. Ellis is lucky that her Alzheimer and my mum being there prevented me from doing it."

"I think we should forget her. She has done us enough harm."

"Yeah, you have a much better family now."

_

* * *

Meredith looked at her roommates when finding them all in the locker room later in the day after meeting Mrs. Shepherd by the trailer. The first one to greet her was Lexie who wrapped her arms around her hugging her while tears ran down her cheek,_

"_I love you sis. I always wanted a big sister and you are the best one."_

_Meredith looked at her shyly._

"_Thank you Lexie."_

"_Let go of Meredith Lexie you are suffocating her."_

"_Sorry Meredith"_

"_Do you remember everything now?"_

"_No, but a lot more than yesterday."_

"_Please let us know if there is anything we can do."_

"_Thank you, I should probably tell you that Derek and I are back together… I think… even if he is my boss"_

_Derek who walked in already changed into scrubs heard the last part and wrapped her into his arms kissing her in front of everyone._

"_Yes we are together but as your boss I have to give you this."_

_He handed her a white crisp lab coat with MD Meredith Grey embroidered on her left pocket and a new badge clipped to the pocket as well. Meredith looked up into his sparkling eyes._

"_Hmmm… if this is gift exchanging time we have something for the both of you."_

_Derek and Meredith looked at their friends with a question in their eyes. Mark who had snuck into the room as well stepped up._

"_Well we wanted something to show you our support."_

_He handed them a brown bag each. They looked at each other before pulling up a new scrub cap each, one with an indigo colored scull and lavender trimming and the other opposite in coloring, each embroidered with The Grey-Shepherd Method in contrasting color._

_"Well, well, well I see that you already got the caps. I just want to tell you that the Grey-Shepherd Method is approved by the medical board and is no longer a trial. Congratulations."_

_Richard looked at his two surgeons as they got lost in the gaze of each other before Derek swept Meredith into a kiss that even made Mark blush.  
_

* * *

Meredith pushes her hair back nervously. Derek stops at the newly added light and waits for the light to change. A dark blue car comes towards them and Meredith closes her eyes trying to prevent hyperventilating. She still hates to sit in the front seat as a passenger but she doesn't want to sit alone in the back seat. Derek reaches out and strokes her hand.

"I love you Meredith."

She opens her eyes and looks into the bright blue ones of her only love.

"I love you too."

The light turns to green and an eager driver in the car behind honks at them. Derek slowly turns the wheels and crosses the road when he is sure all the cars has stopped in the oncoming lane.

**

* * *

Fourth of July**

The following night is warm and the sky is the dark blue color it only gets in the summer. Derek is walking hand in hand with Meredith along the water. It is almost time for the fireworks. The children are chasing each other and the grownups are keeping an eye on their off-springs. Meredith is seeing a father comforting a tiny baby. She knows it is time and pulls his hand as she stops and turns towards him.

"Derek..."

"Yeah"

He stops and wraps his arms around her. Her hair is blowing in the wind and he reaches for her cheek caressing it softly as he looks into her bright eyes.

"Next year you will be doing what the man behind me is doing."

"What?"

Derek looks up and behind her. He sees a man cuddling a baby. It takes a second for the thoughts to connect. He looks down at Meredith's eyes. He can see that she is worried about his reaction but happy. There is a tiny light he hasn't seen before.

"Are you saying..."

She nods and he lets out a huge smile picking her up twirling around on the sand with tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks.

"Oh Mer, I love you."

Suddenly he puts her down and falls to his knees. His left hand pulls a small blue box out of his pocket.

"Meredith Grey, I've been waiting five years to do this. Five years ago I had planned to propose to you right here on the night of Fourth of July and now finally am I able to do it. Would you do me the honor and marry me?"

She looks at the sparkling gem in his hand and can't decide what is the brightest, his eyes or the diamond. He is beginning to look stressed because of the lack of response when she takes a deep breath.

"Yes Derek Shepherd I want to become your wife."

Above them the sky explodes in colors.

**~The End~**

**

* * *

**

This is the last installment of this story. I feel so humble for the praise I've got and the warmth of your encouragement. You have each and everyone made my day with your comments. I will now work on my next project, that is for now called Memories of an E... and it is always a MerDer story. Hope to see you all there when it is ready for publishing.

~mcanna


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